CJ had entered his office, a small smile on her face and tremors building in her hands and legs. Sam looked up and prompted her to tell her what had brought her to his door so late, when she should be sleeping or even just trying to relax a little.
"He's awake."
Two words had never warmed his heart so much as those two.
He didn't have time to enjoy those words and their effect, though, because he noticed CJ was trembling like a leaf; he sprung up from behind his desk and rushed to her. After easing an arm around her, he guided her into a chair and sat next to her.
"It's gonna be okay," he assured her.
CJ sniffled and then burst into tears.
Sam had never been good with crying women---and he had never seen CJ break down like that. She was the strong one; he was more apt to break down than she was. But in that moment, he saw a vulnerability which he was certain very few people ever got to see and he was determined not to ruin the moment or the turning point in their friendship.
"Hey..." he whispered. "Josh is okay." He reached up and brushed her tears away with one hand. "I know it was scary, but you didn't get hurt and Josh is getting better." He reached down and took her hands. "I kept you safe, didn't I?"
"Y-yeah," she whispered.
"Yeah."
She whimpered. "It was so scary, Sam," she admitted in a shaking voice. "I've been trying to... I mean... trying to move on and all I can keep thinking about is the shot hitting the car, you knocking me down... and Josh."
"Shhh... c'mon."
"What?"
Sam stood and reached for her. "Let's go."
"Where?"
He didn't answer. He couldn't believe he was taking CJ home with him. At first, he told himself that he was taking her because they needed a drink and Toby should be there---so the good scotch would be ready to go. But, as they drove in his car towards his townhouse, he started to wonder if he was willing to offer her more comfort than burning alcohol and a warm hug.
And then, he didn't know how Toby would react. Toby was a wildcard when it came to sex---hell, Sam hadn't even known that he liked men as well as women until they had gotten drunk one night and tumbled into Sam's hotel room together. It was interesting, difficult, and the most intense sexual relationship Sam ever had; he didn't want to lose it, but he knew what CJ needed and he knew what he needed.
Nothing made sense. Nothing, that is, except for Josh being awake and the surgery being a success.
Toby opened the door before Sam could get his keys out. His brown eyes were lined with hunger and concern---and then they landed upon CJ, and confusion filled those dark orbs.
CJ wrinkled her nose up. "Toby?"
"Hi, CJ."
She paled and then she blushed. "Omigod," she whispered.
"Well said, Claudia Jean," Toby said in a wry tone. "Are you two coming in or will we stay out on the step all night?"
Sam nudged CJ into his home. Her first few steps were awkward, but the next few were smoother. Toby locked the door behind them, but before he could follow CJ into the living area of the home, Sam stopped him.
"Sorry... I just didn't know what to---"
"It's okay," Toby mumbled. "I've seen that look on her face before. What happened?"
"Josh is awake," Sam told him, smiling a bit. Then, his expression clouded. "She told me and then she... she fell apart, Toby. I've never seen her like that. I just... I didn't want her to be alone."
Sam always said more than Toby did. It was their way. The darker, older man nodded, twitched his beard, and then kissed his partner gently. Sam sighed and yielded; there was nothing to worry about, after all.
CJ had already helped herself to scotch and after they had all had a couple of drinks, they moved to the living room, and then to the bedroom.
Sam couldn't remember how they ended up in the bedroom---at who's urging the move was initiated, who balked, who insisted, how many steps, and so on---but he remembered hitting the back of his knees against the mattress and falling down, only to be joined by both CJ and Toby.
She didn't want to be sandwiched between the men. Sam found that odd; Toby accepted it without looking as if he had several questions waiting on his lips. She turned to look at Sam and said she wanted to watch them together, too.
And those were the last words anyone said for a very long time. The air was punctuated by Sam's whimpers, Toby's grunts, and CJ's moans, by heavy, warm air, and by sounds of skin on skin.
When it was over, Sam looked over at Toby. No words were exchanged, but Sam understood the expression.
Five years later when they were still three, together in secret, Sam would look back on the day Josh woke up as the day his view of love changed. He would realise that CJ softened Toby and decoded many of his attitudes and mannerisms, and that she helped him toughen his sensitive side and hide the heart he wore upon his sleeve. He would realise that they held each other together in a way that he had never experienced before. He would realise that conventionality wasn't always the best thing, and that he was the happiest he had ever been in a long time.
