Baby Steps

CJ woke up, groaning when her alarm clock insisted on beeping. "Grrr," she moaned, slapping her hand down on the snooze button to give herself an extra ten minutes. She heard John rustling in the bed, yawning and rolling towards her. Soon, she felt his chest and stomach against her back and his arms were around her waist.

"Good morning," he whispered, kissing her neck.

"Mmmmm..." she purred, snuggling into his arms. John's hands slid up her body, brushing over her naked breasts. She gasped softly. "Easy, John..."

"Still tender?" He asked softly.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"When's your ultrasound appointment?"

She had to think for a minute. Then, she said: "Next week. Friday, I think. Can you--"

"Yes," he interrupted. "I'll be there."

She turned around in his arms and grinned. "Good." Leaning forward, she kissed his cheek, and laughed as he leaned in to kiss over her neck and shoulder. "John... I've got to get ready for work and---"

"Shh," he cut her off, kissing back along her collarbone.

"John!"

"We've got what? Seven minutes?"

"John!" She laughed as he eased her onto her back to kiss over her breasts very softly. "I don't sleep naked so it's easier for you in the morning to seduce me, you know."

"No? I thought that was the exact reason---"

She eased his head up so he was looking at her. She stuck her tongue out and then said: "No, it isn't. I happen to enjoy feeling skin on skin, and I like your skin on my skin, and well, that and I'm entirely too tired to put more clothes on when I get home and crash."

"But, you have to admit it facilitates getting it on in the morning," he pointed out.

"And if I was in the mood..."

"Damn," he responded, but he was still smiling, so CJ didn't feel too bad. "Maybe later?"

"Definitely later," she agreed, leaning up to kiss him. "Going to let me get up?"

"Maybe..."

"John!"

He chuckled and rolled off of her. "Want the shower first?"

She nodded. "Please... I'll be quick."

"I know," he smiled, watching her as she sat up and pushed the covers off of her long, lean body. She felt his eyes on her, and she blushed, still not entirely used to his near-constant presence in her life.

Once in the shower, she could hear him moving around and then the delicious aroma of coffee was filtering into her bedroom. She smiled and inhaled deeply, out of habit, even though she knew she wouldn't have any. John still needed his morning coffee, and as much as she craved it, he refused to hand it over.

He was doing everything right. If she was working late, he'd try and make it to her place---which is what happened the last night---and have something ready for her to eat. If she was done early, he'd invite her over, and they'd cook together and relax. He was watching to make sure she didn't overdo it---which was annoying at times, since she wasn't used to having someone constantly watching her. She was beginning to feel that their relationship was on the right track, and for the first time in their history, she felt positive feelings in association with John Hoynes.

There were problems, though. For starters, John had yet to tell her that he loved her. She knew he did, when she was the most confident about their relationship, but he had yet to say those three simple words. When she was insecure, she'd worry... worry that she wasn't enough, worry that he would change his mind and leave her to raise their child, worry that he would hurt her more than anyone else ever had---all over again. And, of course, she hadn't told the President, Leo, or Josh yet about the new developments in her life.

Toby knew, because she couldn't keep it from him, but she hadn't summoned the courage to tell the other senior staff members. John had never been to the office to meet her for lunch, his calls were kept secret from the others if they were nearby, thanks to Carol, and she was finally coming to terms with the fact that she couldn't keep this behavior up.

When she came out into the kitchen, John was wearing his robe and sipping coffee. On the table, there was a glass of orange juice and a bagel with cream cheese. She looked up. "For me?"

"Yes," he answered, scanning the front page headlines of his paper. "You look great," he added.

She blushed. "Thank you."

"Are you going to keep blushing every time I say something nice?"

She shrugged. "Maybe."

He stood up, coffee in hand, leaving the paper next to her food. After kissing her forehead, he walked off, towards her bathroom. CJ watched him, appreciating the view with a silly smile on her face, and when he was no longer in her sight, she settled down and ate her breakfast.

~*~

"CJ? Phone?"

"Is it him?"

"Yeah," Carol called back, while Josh and Toby watched her.

CJ sighed and picked up the phone. "Hi, honey."

"Josh and Leo in the room?" John asked.

"You've got one out of the two right," CJ chuckled, fighting the guilty pangs she was feeling.

"Your stomach okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah. So far, so good. Are we still on for lunch?"

"Definitely," John replied. "I might be a few minutes late, but, where did you want me to make reservations?"

"We could just grab a hot dog and walk around," CJ suggested. "I could meet you at your office, and---"

"I could pick you up---"

"It's really easier if I meet you---" she sighed and put a hand up to the men in her office, who were becoming restless. "It's no problem, really."

He sighed, too. "You still haven't told them."

"No... I haven't."

"Afraid?"

"A little... I just... I want to make sure it's the right time."

"Claudia, it might never be the right time, but what are we going to do? Hide forever?"

She frowned. "No, I don't. I will give them a heads up, I will... I just... I need some time," she told him honestly as she turned in her chair.

"There isn't much time left," he reminded her. "Soon, you'll be showing, and---"

"I know!" She interrupted. Josh gestured for her to put the phone down, so she moved to end the conversation. "Okay... I've got to get back to work. I can still meet you at your place---"

"Why don't we just meet for supper?" He suggested. "My place. I'll cook. That way you don't have to worry."

"I'm coming to your office in a couple of hours," she replied. "Whether you want me there or not."

He sighed. "Okay. I'll meet you in the lobby. We need to--"

"I know. We do. I will."

An hour and a half later, Carol was flagging her down. "He canceled your lunch," she murmured as they walked through the halls. CJ cursed. The confidence his phone call had instilled in her was fading a little bit. Briefly, she imagined that he was having lunch with some other woman. Then, she asked if he gave a reason, and Carol answered: "He said his meeting was running late."

She groaned and rubbed her palm into her forehead. He had canceled before, but when it was a real, concrete cancellation, he gave a much more detailed excuse and he usually gave it himself, over the phone. "Yeah, okay. Thanks."

Before stopping at her office, she went into Toby's. "Okay. He's pissed at me."

Toby looked up. "What?"

"John. He's pissed at me."

"You haven't told Leo yet."

"No, of course not! I'm too chicken. Bawk, bawk, bawk. All that," she said, waving a hand around.

He raised an eyebrow. "CJ... don't you think it's weird that you come to me for dating advice?"

"A little, yeah," she agreed. "Okay..." she started pacing. "I'm just going to go in and tell them. Right now."

"Can I watch?" Toby asked, a small smile playing with his mouth. CJ stared at him, weighing her options: support, laugh track... support, laugh track. Finally, she nodded, and he jumped up, following her to Leo's office.

~*~

Leo's jaw dropped. "What?"

"You heard me," CJ muttered, crossing her arms.

"Let me get this straight," he tried to compute the information being given to him. "You're pregnant. With Hoynes' baby?"

"John and I have been... involved since my divorce. He's single, I'm single... we're not doing anything wrong."

He raised his eyebrows as he took his glasses off. "You told me that---"

"I told you that nothing was happening, because nothing was happening. We rushed a little too fast at the very beginning, and realised it was a mistake for us. When you called that morning, we were really just running partners. Things have progressed."

"Because of the baby?"

"No," she shook her head. "Because we've come to a mutual conclusion that it's a good idea."

"It's a good idea?"

She nodded. "We're in love. We're having a child. It's an easy jump to make that being together is a good idea." The words were easy for her to say, but after she said them, she wondered if they were easy for John to say, as well.

Toby sighed and rubbed his forehead. "For the record, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but she has a point, and I've seen them, and well... so far so good."

Leo pressed his lips together, nodded slowly, and then asked: "Is he running for President?"

"His campaign hasn't come up yet. He knows I won't speak for him from here... I made that perfectly clear."

"So you're really dating---"

"Leo, I can't seem to figure out the---"

The trio jumped to their feet as President Bartlet came into the room. "Sir," Leo greeted him.

"Who's dating who?" He inquired. "I was coming in with a more serious question, but while I'm here... let's have it," he grinned. "Claudia Jean, will you enlighten me?"

She blushed a little. "Well, I'm dating John Hoynes. We're having a baby. And," she paused for a breath. "I think we're getting married."

Jed's jaw dropped, too. He glanced at Toby. "Toby, have you known about this?"

"I've known the longest," he answered as truthfully as he could.

"And what do you think?"

"I think that this is the happiest I've seen CJ in a long time," he mumbled, making CJ smile at him, which only added to his discomfort.

"Claudia Jean," Jed asked. "Are you aware that---"

"All do respect, sir," CJ jumped in. "He's been good to me, and I know we have quite a bit to work on, but he's willing, and I'm willing, so... we're going to do this."

"How far along are you?"

"About eight weeks," she replied.

"And you're both healthy?"

She nodded. "So far, so good."

"Congratulations," he smiled. Then, he shrugged. "Of course, I wish you could have found happiness with someone I like a little bit more... but..." he shrugged again. "You're a big girl and you can make your own decisions."

She nodded. "I can. Thank you, sir."

Leo, who must have been trying to place eight weeks, finally caught on. CJ groaned softly as he asked: "Eight weeks ago? Your divorce wasn't final then, was it?"

"No, not entirely," she frowned. "I... it's complicated."

Toby grunted. "What she means to say is she took advantage of a nice guy looking out for her when she felt jilted by her husband. I can't believe I'm saying he's been a nice guy, but so far, he is. He was the one that wanted to take things more slowly, and her office has been a flower shop ever since. Can we just move on to how we're going to announce this?"

CJ whirled around and glared at him. "If I wanted to share the details of my unraveling marriage and my relationship with John, I would have provided the details myself, Toby."

"Fine," he muttered. "But, I'm in your corner, remember?"

"CJ," Jed asked as he settled down into Leo's armchair, letting the others sit as well. "Were things that bad with Ben?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir, they were. He didn't like the hours I kept, and it wasn't working for him. He found someone else, someone whose work hours were more to his liking, and we haven't looked back since."

"You know that Hoynes has a histor---"

She jumped in. "He's explained all of that to me, and I trust him. He's proved how he's changed, and with the baby on the way..." she shrugged. "I have confidence that this is going to work."

"How are we going to announce this?" Toby asked again.

"I want John included in your orchestrated whatever," CJ told him. "This involves him, too."

"You'll be taking the brunt of the media attack," Leo reminded her.

"Yes, but he'll have to deal with me at home," CJ countered. "And he will be faced with questions, too, in an unprotected environment. I have to consider his needs, too."

"Is he considering yours?" Jed asked.

Toby rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, he is. Would you call John, CJ, and ask him what he'd like to do?"

"I'll get him---"

"Leo, he doesn't have to come down---"

"Margaret!" When she appeared in the door, he asked: "Would you ask Vice President Hoynes to come to my office immediately?"

~*~

Margaret escorted him through the relatively familiar halls of the West Wing. John noted the strange looks some of the staffers were giving him, all curious to know why he was coming into the building. He wasn't even sure why he was being called in. Leo demanded his immediate presence, was all his secretary had told him.

"Right in here," she said, waving with her hand.

"I remember the way," he reminded her.

"Oh. Yeah. Right. Well, anyway..." she shrugged and smiled, announcing to the group that he was there, before letting him into the office.

While John greeted the President, Leo, and Toby, CJ, heart in her throat for a reason she couldn't quite pinpoint, jumped up and greeted him. "John," she whispered, as he kissed her cheek and then her lips. "I told them."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, Josh doesn't know, but... eventually he'll catch wind of it."

Leo spoke up. "We sent him a message."

"So, soon he'll come flying through this door?" Toby asked with a little sigh. "Can we lock it and see if he crashes into it?"

CJ smiled and turned back to John. After a chaste kiss on the lips, she said: "I didn't like how you canceled lunch."

"I was a little cranky."

"And now?"

"Pleasantly surprised, a little shocked, and very nervous," he admitted very quietly.

She kissed him again, for good measure, and then brought him to the sofa. Once seated, he put his arm around her shoulders and held her to his side. "So, you know why you're here, then?" Leo asked.

"I can imagine it's so you can figure out how to announce this," he replied. "Although, grilling me with questions about my intentions for Claudia has also crossed my mind as a possible answer."

Toby smirked. Before he could comment, Josh came barreling into the room. "Sorry, I'm la---" he saw CJ and John cuddling, and stopped short. "What's going on?"

"Claudia and I are together," John told him. "We're having a baby, and we're discussing marriage."

Josh tried several times to speak, each time getting a little paler. CJ laughed softly, enjoying his reaction. "I--- you--- the--- she---" he stared at them, and then shook his head. "Whatever. Okay. So, really? A baby?"

CJ nodded. "Really. A baby."

"How far along?"

"About eight weeks."

Josh pressed his lips together and nodded. Then, he said: "While I'm happy for both of you... or, well, as happy as I can be at the moment... you know the Press Corps can do the math, too, right?"

"I'm not going to give them a detailed chronology of the conception and my personal life," CJ muttered.

"Yeah, but---"

"Yeah, but nothing, Josh. My baby is not going to be the centre of a heated debate. They'll know I'm pregnant. They'll know I'm getting bigger. They'll know I had the baby. That's it."

"Okay, okay," he backed down. She wished her voice hadn't sounded so harsh, but she was feeling protective of John and their child. The tone in her voice couldn't be helped. "So, an announcement."

"The sooner you put a ring on her hand, the better," Jed pointed out.

"Yes, sir, I know. But, right now, we're just busy with work and getting used to each other," John responded, making CJ's heart sink a little. "I don't know if either of us has time to plan a wedding."

"Hire someone," Leo grumbled. "Geez."

"We could, but the last time I tried that, I spent two weeks arguing about the lack of pink in my ceremony," CJ reminded him. "It was not pretty."

"Carol could help," Josh suggested. "I mean, when she's not actually working. If she'd like to. She knows you, you trust her..."

Toby perked up. "That actually might be a good idea. When do you think you two will---"

"I haven't even proposed yet," John reminded him. "I think we're jumping the gun a little."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Jed asked. When both CJ and John glared at him, he smiled. "I'm just kidding. Don't worry. Although---"

Leo cut him off. "Do you want to break it in that you two are dating first?"

CJ shrugged. "A lot of the press has been speculating for some time. I've gotten the occasional question. I think that just making a statement, telling them that the White House doesn't comment on our personal lives, and moving on might be the best way to extinguish that fire---"

"You think it will squash it?" Josh asked, jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"If I keep a firm upper hand with them, I don't see why it wouldn't. I've gotten them over other things with a similar policy."

Leo shrugged. "Try it. See what happens." He looked at Jed. CJ had expected him to leave when they started talking strategy, but instead he sat there, watching CJ and John. "Sir?" Leo broke his gaze. "Was there something you needed?"

He shook his head, smiling. "This is the most fun we've had around here in a long while." John groaned and tucked his face into CJ's shoulder. She patted his knee and he covered her hand with his, letting his fingers slip between hers. The President rubbed his hands together. "CJ, you know, you're like part of the family, and---"

"I'm so out of here," Toby muttered, but he was stopped with a Presidential hand gesture, so he sat back down next to Josh and waited.

"I'll create a diversion, you head for the door," Josh muttered to him, making CJ crack up nervously.

"Is it going to be that bad?" She asked.

"I feel like I'm going to my prom all over again," John whispered in her ear.

"Oh, it won't be that bad," Jed replied, having heard him speak. "I just have a few questions..."

~*~

When she put the key in her door, she heard music playing. Soft rock. Smiling and moving to the beat, she slinked into her apartment, took her coat off, tossed her bag, and found herself wrapped up in John's arms.

"Were you hiding behind the door again?" She asked with a small laugh.

"Five days, and we're still not the story," he murmured in her ear. "I felt like celebrating. How's your stomach?"

"I'm feeling okay. I was a little sick this morning---" she stopped as he turned her around and started moving to the music with her in his arms. "---what's gotten into you?"

He grinned and kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm in a good mood. I ordered food. Had it delivered. From that chinese place you love."

"Really?"

"Really," he replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "No mushrooms."

"Excellent," she beamed up at him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he responded softly, holding her close. She giggled as they moved across the living room, dancing. "What? Don't like my dancing?"

"Oh, you're very good," she told him. "I just can't believe we're dancing. That's all."

He smiled and pulled her a little closer so he could put his face in her shoulder. "You're very good, too," he murmured, turning to kiss her neck. She sighed and tightened her fingers into his back. "I just want to hold you."

"Mmmm... okay," she whispered, as they swayed together. Times like these, she thought he really loved her.

At the end of the song, he lifted his head and smiled. "C'mon, let's eat."

Once the containers of chinese food had been nearly emptied, CJ and John curled up on the sofa with two glasses of sparkling cider. CJ tucked her long legs under her, and rested against him, enjoying his presence thoroughly. "How was your day?" She asked, rubbing his stomach with her fingers.

"Good," he answered. "I did some real legal work... went shopping..."

"Shopping?" She asked, lifting her head to look at him. "For what?"

"Well, I was going to go look at baby stuff, but thought better of it until you announce you're pregnant, and then I ended up roaming around a jewelry store."

She gasped softly as he produced a little box from his pants pocket. "John? Is this---"

"Why don't you open it?"

"O-okay," she breathed, taking the velvet-covered box and lifting its lid. When she saw the diamond sparkling up at her, she glanced at him quickly. "John..."

"I know we've discussed it, but we've never actually gone ahead with it, and I do want this," he told her. "So... will you marry me?"

She smiled. "You know that this marriage is going to be different. For both of us. Right?"

"Very different," he agreed. "But, I hope it will be very good, too."

CJ nodded, looking back down at the gorgeous ring and its sparkling gem. "Oh wow... John, you didn't have to--- wow..." she looked up at him. Of course, she would have preferred to hear how he felt about her first, but the look in his eyes was devastatingly earnest and he looked so handsome, and she thought, in love. When she nodded, his smile stretched into a big grin. "Yes. Of course."

He tipped her head and kissed her softly, making her toes curl. "Good. Thank you..."

"I didn't know if you'd ever ask."

"I had been planning on it that lunch... when I canceled and you told Leo--- and then, I didn't want asking you to be about the President's request, and---"

She cut him off, kissing him again. "I understand. I do. I'm... I'm happy."

"That makes two of us," he murmured as he slipped the ring onto her finger.

The music was still playing. CJ stood and reached for him. When he asked what she was doing, she shyly whispered: "Dance with me some more?"

~*~

"Leo," CJ sighed into her cell phone before she and John went into the building for her doctor's appointment. "I know. We'll be an hour or so, and then I'm coming back to announce. Don't worry. Carol has my statement, so if Margaret wants to get it, she can. There are copies, and---"

"You're sure you want to do this?"

She looked over at John. "Yes. Very sure. It'll be better if we do it now, get them off our backs before the baby's born."

"Okay, come see me when you get back. And good luck with the ultrasound."

She smiled. "Thanks, Leo. See you soon."

Twenty minutes later, both John and CJ were caught between staring at Dr. Smythe, and the monitor. CJ, jaw dropped, managed to speak first. "Babies? Meaning... more than one?"

Pam smiled. "You're having twins."

She looked up at John. "We're having twins."

"I heard," he whispered, kissing her temple. "For someone who couldn't get pregnant, you're doing a fine job."

She chuckled, and then looked back at the screen. Two little blurs on the screen in black and white were looking back at her. She felt her eyes watering, so she closed them, but she could still see the image in her mind. "Wow..."

The doctor asked: "I think I can tell the sex of both... if you're interested." CJ nodded, as did John. "So far, it looks like two girls. I'm not entirely sure... but... that's what they look like right now."

"Two girls?" CJ smiled. "Identical?"

"I think so," Dr. Smythe replied. "The chance that you released two eggs is unlikely, so... they're probably identical."

"We should have signs made for them," John teased, only to be playfully slapped by CJ.

"Can we get a few print outs?" CJ asked quietly.

John nuzzled her. "Who did you want to send one to?"

"My dad," she murmured. "I don't know if he'll understand what's going on, but my brothers want me to include him more in my life, and---"

He kissed her. Then, he whispered: "Sounds like a good idea."

After the photo printing was done, Dr. Smythe told them she'd leave while CJ changed. CJ did so, watching John who was sitting down with a funny expression on his face. "Honey? Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'm thinking."

"Good thoughts?"

"I think so..." he replied. "I'm thinking about postponing the campaign."

She tilted her head. "You can't wait much longer, John. Soon, you'll have to---" then, it dawned on her. "You're serious? John!"

"I can wait a few more years. Besides, you're going to need help, and I want to be with you, I want to get married, and watching these two grow up... I... I'm needed here."

"You're going to give up on the country for me?"

He kissed her. "I don't think of it that way. Plus, it puts some distance between me and the administration, and... well... I really want to enjoy your pregnancy."

She blushed. "You're a sweet talker."

"Is it working?"

She nodded. "It is. But, we'll talk about that later... okay? Come with me to tell the staff the good news?"

"We'll talk about it later, but my mind's made up," he responded, taking her hand. "And, if you'd like me there, I'd love to come with you."

"Good," she grinned, as they walked out of the examination room. Words would be nice, but she could make do with his actions, because they were speaking loudly.

~*~

"Good afternoon, guys," CJ greeted them with a nervous smile. "It's a slow day, so I thought I'd throw this at you. Keep in mind that the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff, but, I'm being a very generous girl and offering this up. I, your very own Press Secretary, am getting married again, to Vice President John Hoynes." They all shot their hands up, calling for her, demanding that their questions be answered. "We've been seeing each other for some time now, which you've known, and now we are expecting twins. A wedding date will be set in the future, and you'll all be made aware of the big day, although whether or not the Press will be invited is another matter. We'd appreciate some amount of privacy during this busy time for both of us, and... and that's it. I'm in a good mood, but that doesn't mean I'm going to entertain questions. This was just a heads up, guys."

"CJ!" Katie pleaded.

"Oh, alright. What is it?"

"Will you continue to work at the White House?"

"I don't see why I wouldn't, Katie. We've yet to discuss it in great detail, but as long as I can still work, I'd like to do so."

"Even with his campaign?" Mike asked.

CJ bit her tongue, because she and John hadn't discussed his campaign ending in detail yet, either. "Guys, I'd just miss you too much. Right now, we're still figuring out a date and a location for the ceremony. The rest will come, and I'm sure you'll all hear about it."

Steve called out: "CJ, how do you feel about his book?"

"Guys... you've heard the White House comment on the book already... and I'm not going to give you my personal opinion on it, because we're big kids, and we don't do that here," CJ replied. "Got anything else?"

Steve smiled. "Yeah."

"Well, hit me with it."

"A recent source says that you and Vice President Hoynes were romantically involved---" CJ braced herself for the worst "---before your divorce was final."

After letting out a sigh, she tilted her head. "Is this another blind source? Because you know how I feel about those."

"No, your ex-husband."

Her jaw would have dropped, but she knew she had to remain composed. "Oh, you really are the cream of the crop," she chuckled, silently making a note to kill Ben before he saw the next morning. "You know, that statement was a gift, and after that, we don't comment. Besides---"

Carol stepped forward, a piece of paper in her hand. "You've been saved," she whispered, handing her the release.

CJ's eyes widened as she read it. She stepped back to the podium. "Guys... so much for a slow news day. I've got something for you now..."

~*~

Later that night, CJ flopped down on the sofa in her office, lounging over John, while he rubbed her feet. "It's late... you should go home to bed," she whispered, sighing and moaning when he massaged a sensitive muscle.

He shrugged. "I don't mind hanging out here with you between briefings and meetings."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm here to make sure you don't get too stressed out," he told her.

"I'm going to kill Ben," she muttered.

He chuckled. "I know... you told me that already. Don't you think there would be too much juice to the story if you gave him a piece of your mind?"

"I don't want him ruining your campaign."

"Which isn't going to happen for a few more years," he reminded her. "We've got time to let the story die on its own."

She chuckled. "It won't... I'll have to kill it. And him." He nudged her. She sighed. "Okay. I won't kill him, but I'm still going to meet with him and let him know what I'm thinking."

"Oh boy... okay. Just---"

CJ sat up and kissed him, cutting him off. "I know," she whispered. He smiled and brought a hand up to pull her back in for another kiss. She purred and kissed him back, letting him deepen it, slowly seducing her into relaxation.

"Well, well, Claudia Jean... looks like the stories are true."

"Ma'am!" CJ gasped, looking at the First Lady, who was wearing a large grin. "I thought your staff canceled the meeting because of the---"

She waved her hand. "Oh, they did. Don't you worry. I just heard a story on the television, and I thought I'd stop by and ask about it. And look, you're both here."

"Ma'am," John smiled up at her. "It's nice to see you again."

They both moved to get up, finally getting over the shock of having Abbey Bartlet in the office, but she told them to sit as she pulled a chair around. "It's good to see you, too, John," she said with a smile. "So, you two are getting married?"

Cj nodded and held out her hand so Abbey could inspect the ring. "Yes, we are."

"It's beautiful..." she said. "John, did you pick this out yourself?"

He chuckled. "Yes, actually, I did."

"And, twins!" Abbey moved on. "CJ! You've been holding out on me."

"Well it all happened very fast," she tried to explain. "I'm still trying to adjust."

"You make me sound difficult to live with!" John protested.

She winked. "If the shoe fits..."

"Hey!"

Abbey laughed. "John, I haven't seen you look so happy in a long time."

"Well, I'm very happy," he said with a smile. "Claudia makes me very happy."

CJ blushed and looked away. "John..."

"It's true," he told her softly.

"You two are just adorable," Abbey chuckled. "Now, tell me how you two met, and all of that, we've got some time."

"Or," CJ said, raising an eyebrow. "We could discuss the Muppets."

Abbey groaned. "No, no... please not the Muppets. You honestly think that's going to do the trick?"

"I do," CJ nodded.

John smiled. "Dr. Bartlet, are you afraid of Elmo?"

"I am not afraid of that little red ball of fur!" She countered. "I just don't know if that's entirely dignified."

"Diane Sawyer sang with Cookie Monster..." CJ baited her, smiling smugly. "I think a check up with Elmo would go over very nicely, and it would get the message to the people---which is where you want it."

She sighed. "Oh, alright. But, if I'm going to do this, you two are going to tell me how you got together."

CJ laughed. "Alright. Fair enough. It all started when I had to go yell at him about his book deal and article and---"

"And, I was just annoyingly charming," John stepped in, smiling at his fiancée, who swatted his arm. "I wore her down, and eventually... she gave me a chance."

"Just like that?" Abbey asked. "But, you two never got along, and... is there some history there?"

CJ shrugged. "We met a couple times while he was a Senator. But, we didn't really get to the fighting until we were here." John chuckled, before she said: "You know, John, you can piss me off like no one else."

"Oh, I know," he grinned, kissing her hand.

~*~

"CJ?"

She sniffled and wiped her eyes with a tissue. "John..." she spoke into the phone. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know who to call, and---"

"Is everything alright? What happened? Why are you crying?"

"Josh got Big Bird to follow me around all afternoon!" She wailed in the safety of her locked office. "Do you know how long I've been compared to that yellow thing? It was just awful! The tall lady and the tall bird!"

"Hey, hey," his voice was soft and soothing. "It's alright."

"You're allowed to be tall! I'm tall, too, but soon, I'll be huge! And---"

"I'm going to come down, okay?"

She sniffed softly. "Why?"

"You're upset, and I really want Elmo's autograph," he replied. She chuckled through her tears, but quieted when he continued talking. "Seriously, I've just finished a couple of long meetings, and I'm sick of making business deals, and now, I just want to hold you."

"Oh."

"Want me to bring anything?"

"Dill pickles and that mayo sauce from the deli close by?"

He winced, but agreed. She settled down on her sofa, and didn't open the door until Carol knocked and told her John was there. Then, while the Muppets left the building, he held her and assured her that he loved her height and he loved that they were having twins.

~*~

John watched CJ come into his bedroom in the Texas estate and he smiled. Their first night together after the whirlwind wedding that took a couple weeks to plan, and he didn't know what to do first. She was still wearing the off-white suit with the long jacket, and her hair was loosely curled, with the white rose tucked behind her ear, and as she walked towards him, he could see the baby bulge starting.

The morning sickness had passed gradually. He had wondered if it would ever go away, especially during the first few days of her after-hours planning with Carol. She had been a wreck, trying to deal with a church wedding, getting the guests flown in, and it wasn't until Donna stepped up and offered to help Carol if CJ would back off and relax that the mother-to-be appeared to be looking forward to the wedding.

Married on a Thursday, back on Sunday. It would be a short honeymoon, but they never had a day alone together, so it was the best either of them could hope for.

"You still look exquisite," he murmured, taking her hand.

"I know it's not very traditional, but I've done the white dress already, and---"

"It's perfect. And, it's you."

She nodded and smiled. "Thank you... I know it's quick, but before I start really showing, I---"

"I know," he interrupted her again. "I wanted to marry you, too." She frowned for a minute, feeling a little queasy, and a little nervous. He knew that face and picked up on it. "Claudia? You okay?"

"Do you mind... if we just cuddle tonight? I don't know if... I mean, I want you, believe me. We've been celibate for way too long, stupid morning sickness... and, well, yeah, I want you, but... right now... I don't know if my tummy wants to agree with me."

He reached into his bureau and pulled out two pairs of large pajamas. She chuckled as he asked: "Do you want the green ones, or the blue ones?"

"I'll take the green," she grinned.

~*~

Listening to some quiet country music, CJ tucked her face into John's shoulder and inhaled, feeling the sense of calm he loaned her. "I love it here," she whispered. "So quiet, and peaceful, and it's just... huge. I can't wait to get the tour tomorrow."

John kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

At the sound of those three words she had been waiting to hear for so long, CJ gasped and sat upright. "You've never... said that."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should have said it sooner... I just didn't know how to bring it up when it was too late, and I wanted to, but I wanted to be sure you weren't going to freak out, and---"

"It's okay, John. Really. I was a little worried at first, but... I love you, too."

He grinned and breathed a long sigh of relief. "So, I've definitely grown on you."

"Oh, definitely," she nodded, before leaning up to kiss him. She looked down at her hand, and admired the rings on her finger. "I can't believe we're married... with twins. If someone ever told me---"

"I know," he agreed, pulling her into his lap so he could wrap both arms around her. "I know exactly what you mean."

She smiled and nuzzled him. "John..."

"Yes, Claudia?"

"I'm feeling better."

~*~

CJ let him carry her back to the bedroom. They gazed into each other's eyes as he lowered her to the soft mattress, and she smiled up at him when he leaned over her and kissed her gently. "We have to get you out of these," he commented, tugging on the pants. "As much as I love you in them..."

"I can put them on later," she murmured, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek.

She lifted her hips and let him take her pants off. He saw the stockings and garters and gasped softly. "I had no idea..."

"You weren't supposed to, silly," she giggled softly. "It was a surprise."

John grinned. Before he unbuttoned her shirt, he kissed up and down her legs. She gasped at his tenderness, wriggling under his lips because he was driving her close to crazy. Before his lips traveled over her waist, he unbuttoned the pajama top and pushed it open. Sweet kisses over her stomach, followed by his gentle nuzzling, and CJ found herself crying a little.

"Claudia?"

"You're good," she admitted.

He smiled. "You knew that already."

"Jooooohn. You... and the kisses... and..."

He splayed his hands over her stomach and looked down. "Our kids are growing in there..." he whispered. "I want them to always know that I love them."

CJ couldn't hold it in. She burst into tears---happy tears, but tears nevertheless. "John!" She gasped, between hiccups and sobs.

He climbed up her body and wrapped her up in his arms. "Shhh, shhh."

"You... you... but---" she stopped and shuddered. He wiped her tears away and kissed her cheeks. "How come you're like this?"

"Like what?"

"Sweet, adorable... loving... I never knew that you could--- and it just---" she paused, and then launched herself into another round of tears.

"Shhh," he tried again.

"I hate crying," she muttered.

John chuckled softly. "It's okay."

"No, it's not!" She countered. "It's our wedding night, and now I'm going to be all splotchy."

"I'm trying very hard not to laugh," he admitted. When she growled and shoved him, he explained himself: "CJ, I don't care if you're splotchy. You're beautiful and you're here, and you're wearing my rings. Let me make love to my wife..."

She shivered and sniffled a little. "Well, when you put it that way."

He grinned. "It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

She nodded and nibbled on her lip. "Uh huh."

John leaned in and kissed her lower lip out of her teeth. She shivered and slowly lost herself in the kiss, until he left her lips to explore the soft skin of her neck, which was when she sank into a new depth of desire. At each moan, John smiled and nibbled, which made her squirm. His hands held her in place, and his mouth didn't hesitate.

"It's been too long," he whispered in her ear, before nibbling on her earlobe.

"I know," she panted, hot and bothered. "I'm sorry... I couldn't---"

"Don't apologise," he interrupted, as his hands left her hips and started unfastening the lingerie she was wearing. "I'm a patient man when it comes to you."

Her eyelashes fluttered open and she looked up at him. "So you didn't sleep with anyone else while I was sick..."

"Claudia!"

"John, I'm sorry," she whispered, seeing the hurt expression on his face. "I didn't mean to... I just---"

His hands moved to her stomach, over the swell of her body. "I'm not the guy I was when we first met, and I thought you knew that."

"I do... I was sort of teasing, and it definitely didn't come out that way."

He shook his head. "No, it didn't."

"I'm sorry."

He pouted. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. I hurt you. I'm sorry..." she trailed off and rubbed his chest with her fingers through his shirt. "Let me make it up to you."

"And how do you propose to do that?" He asked, expression brightening.

She smirked. "Well, it's a surprise."

"I don't know how I feel about that," he murmured, before leaning in and nuzzling her temple. "Claudia, you're my wife, and the mother of my children... and you're the only one I want. If you don't believe that, we're going to have some issues."

"What if you feel insecure again?" She asked. "What if I'm working too much, and you don't like it?"

"I remember what kind of hours are kept, and I'll understand."

She sighed. "Yeah, but---"

"I'll hide out in our home and when you come home for a change of clothes, or a memo you left on the bedside table... whatever... I'm going to pounce on you and have my way with you until you can't stand."

Her frown turned into a grin. "Leo might have a problem with that."

John's fingers slipped between her legs for a moment, just to tease. "Well, Leo doesn't have a very sexy wife to come home to. He can hold on a bit for me to ravish you before you go back to work."

She laughed. "You're unhinged."

"And I love you," he murmured, making her stomach flop. "So, lie still, and let me have you. It's been too long, and I want to revisit all of my favorite places."

She laughed more and let him guide her onto her back. "Oh, alright," she said softly. "If you insist."

"I do," he growled, before diving in and paying special attention to her breasts. He alternated between different types of kisses with their varying degrees of pressure. She shivered and moaned, trying to use her hands to massage his head and shoulders, but after a few minutes of his delightful torture she found that she had little control over her motor skills. All she could do was encourage him with her whimpered words. She was in his hands and there was nothing she could do about it, if there was in fact something she wanted to do about it.

When his kisses traveled over her stomach, she tried to stop him: "John... I want to---"

"Shh."

She smiled. "Why?"

"Because I said so," he replied, before dipping his tongue into her bellybutton. She moaned and arched up into his hands. His tongue traveled lower, laving her hips and then her upper thighs, before traveling to her centre. She yelped when his tongue flicked over her clit, which made him laugh; the sound vibrations that traveled through her caused more reactions that almost made her weep.

"Careful," she whispered hoarsely. "Please... just---"

"It may have been a while," he murmured against her heat. "But, I still remember what to do to make you come."

She laughed softly, until he licked her again. The sound faded quickly in her throat, to be replaced by a long and low moan when one of his fingers slipped inside of her. "Joooohn... oh, god," she whispered, swallowing heavily. "Please... oh! John!"

He laughed and curled his finger. She moaned and whimpered again.

His ministrations continued until her entire body was on fire. "Joooooohn."

"Yes, Claudia?"

"I... too much... not enough."

And then, he switched the angle of his finger and watched as she tensed up and convulsed. He smiled as her orgasm washed over her, and as she recovered he slithered up her body and held her.

"Oh," she murmured. "I missed that."

"Me, too," he whispered.

"I want more."

He flexed against her thigh so she could feel his erection through his pajama pants. "I happen to be in a position to give you more."

She grinned. "Good, because I want it. Now."

He chuckled and then kissed her. "We have all night," he reminded her. "So, let's go slow."

"Slow is not our thing," she pointed out. "Besides, we do have all night. We can do this now, and then do this again later."

"This?"

"You know... sex."

He sighed. "No... that's not it."

"Fucking?"

"Again, no."

"Well, what would you call it?"

His hand fell onto her stomach again. "I want to call it making love, from now on."

She smiled and nodded. "Okay."

"Because I'm fond of you, and we're married, and I feel like..."

"Being a total sap?" She asked.

He grinned. "Exactly."

"So, let's make love," she suggested, bringing her hands up to play with the buttons on his shirt. "I'm all naked and you're still very covered up. We need to fix that."

He laughed and pulled her close. "I love that we're married."

"I love that, too. If anyone... wow... do you know how... I can't even finish my sentence," she said, ending with a laugh. "I might have thought we were a mistake before, but lately... nothing's felt more right."

He nodded and kissed her. "You thought we were a mistake?" He asked.

"When you were married, and I was young and stupid."

"You were never young and stupid. I was cunning and deceitful."

"You were always truthful," she reminded him. "You never lied about being married. You never lied about anything. I was young and stupid."

He sighed. "Young? Yes. Stupid? No."

"John..."

"You were also incredibly sexy," he added. "I'm glad things have worked out the way they have. I can fully appreciate you now."

She blushed and smiled. "Appreciate away."

"Think the spin boys will miss you if you never come back?"

She laughed. "Are you going to hold me hostage here?"

"I was thinking about it," he admitted. "How do you feel about that?"

"The boys wouldn't like it," she said softly. "So, we should just enjoy the time we have here, now."

"I can't wait until you have these girls," he murmured, caressing her stomach and effectively changing the subject.

CJ laughed. "You're going to be a crazy father."

"I'm going to be an old father," he said. "And... well..."

"They know you love them already," CJ said softly, touching his cheek. "You've been great."

"I've never done this before."

"I know," she nodded. "This is shiny and new for both of us." She leaned into him for a quick kiss. "So, how about we celebrate?" She asked, sliding her hand down to cup his erection. He closed his eyes and groaned. "I think you're still in the mood."

"Uh huh..."

"Excellent," she purred. "I want to christen this bed."

She spent the next few minutes taking his clothes off and kissing his newly uncovered skin. She knew that they had had sex before, but this time together felt different. He had finally said those words she had been longing to hear, giving her the confirmation she needed. He was her husband, and he loved her.

They made love slowly, thrusting, arching, and grabbing together until neither of them could stand it. CJ cried out loudly with the force of her orgasm, and as her muscles clenched around him, she took him over the edge with her. He grunted and found difficulty in hovering above her. His arms trembled until she slid her hands over them.

John kissed her once, and then tucked his head into her neck to pant for breath. She shivered with each gust of air that brushed over her sweaty skin. "John..." she murmured, with her fingers brushing over his back. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied. "Are you okay?"

"I'm very okay," she assured him.

"I didn't hurt the---"

"Shut up and hold me."

He chuckled softly and obliged her, sliding out of her warmth and pulling her close so her back was against his chest. "How's that?"

"Perfect," she whispered.

~*~

"John?" CJ asked as they walked along the dirt road. "This is all yours?"

He laughed and pulled her close. "Yes, it's all mine. I wish I could have taken you somewhere more exotic, but---"

"This is an incredible place. I don't know much about horses, but... it's incredible."

He kissed her temple. "You'll learn about horses."

"Will I?" She asked, poking him in his stomach.

"Well, you're married to me."

She laughed and held up her left hand; her wedding band glittered in the sunlight. "I am."

He grinned and squeezed her. "You are. And, that, over there---" he said, pointing to the grey structure that they were approaching, "---is the main barn."

"Main barn... meaning there are other, less central barns?"

"A stud barn, a mare and foal barn, and one for other animals," he told her.

"John! This is a crazy huge place!"

He laughed again. "And I always thought I didn't have enough space."

"How do you ever leave?" She asked, waving her hand around. "Don't you find it hard to do?"

"All the time," he answered as they walked up the path to the barn. "Do you ride?"

She raised an eyebrow. "I ride very well, John, in case you've forgotten..."

He smirked. "I might need you to refresh my memory."

"When we go back to the house, I'll remind you," CJ promised.

"Excellent," he murmured close to her ear. "I'm looking forward to it." He opened the pedestrian door and ushered her inside. "And here's the main barn."

She looked down the first aisle and felt her jaw drop. "This place is incredible."

"I'm glad you like it. Let me show you around."

CJ stared in awe as he showed her the horses in that barn, before taking her down a corridor and into the next barn. "Wow..." she breathed. "John..."

"These are the mothers to be," he said with a hand flourish. "Soon, I'll have babies here."

"And what will you do with them?"

"Sell some... train and show some... sell them later. It's a business," he told her.

"So, is this how you made your millions?" She teased, rubbing his stomach.

"No, actually," he said, taking her hand and kissing it. "I made my money in oil, remember?"

She nodded. "Right."

"This was a hobby... and then, after I resigned... it became more of a job. We bought another stud, we started shipping semen... selling babies at auction... entering futurities."

"I never dated a cowboy before," she murmured, kissing his neck.

He shivered and put his hands on her hips. "Control yourself. There are people working around here."

"Don't want your staff to see you all hot and bothered?"

"No," he chuckled. "Not so much."

"Well, that's just tough," she teased as she kissed the same spot again.

He groaned. "Oh, c'mon... let me show you my favorite room here."

She squealed as he picked her up. Soon, he was opening a door, and depositing her in the middle of a very comfortable office. There was a sofa along one wall and a desk at the back. Chairs, filing cabinets, and everything else that CJ associated with an office filled the remaining space.

She smirked. "I see there's a sofa in here."

"There is," he replied, as he locked the door. "You drive me mad, Claudia."

"I know. I always have," she said with a sweet smile.

"If we weren't fighting... I was trying to undress you with my eyes... I never knew what to do with you."

CJ pulled her shirt off and tossed it at him. "What do you think you want to do with me now?"

He watched in fascination as she opened the first button on her jeans. He swallowed heavily and motioned with his hand for her to continue. She grinned and rubbed her swelling stomach with her palm, before unbuttoning the rest of the fly.

He groaned in anticipation. She giggled and bent at the waist to pull her jeans off. After stepping out of them, she walked towards him. He smiled. "You're sexy."

She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I like that sofa."

He chuckled. "Right now, even the wall looks good."

"Well, it's up to you," she told him. "Which would you rather?"

He closed his eyes when she pushed against him. "As long as you're there with me, I don't really care."

He felt her lips on his neck. She nibbled and licked. "Of course I'm going to be there," she whispered. "I don't know where else you thought I'd be."

"Good," he said on a shaky breath.

She smiled and lifted her head so she could kiss his lips. His hands skimmed over her back, and in reaction, she arched into him. Her hips rolled, pushing him into another groan. She giggled. "You're responsive today."

"I've been responsive all weekend, in case you haven't noticed," he reminded her, while his hands slid up her ribcage to caress the sides of her sensitive breasts. She closed her eyes and shivered, tipping her head back as she sighed. He grinned and leaned in to kiss over her neck.

"Oh... I've---" she gasped when he nibbled at her shoulder. "I've noticed."

He continued to kiss her skin, until the point when she couldn't handle his attentions anymore; she was on fire, and it was all his fault. She stopped him, tipping his head up and showering him with kisses to fuel his fire. Their mouths dueled, each struggling for control. CJ loved these kisses. They both needed to feel dominant, and the struggle was always intense. She loved wondering who would win that match, who would gain power before they had sex.

She remembered feeling the wall behind her, hard and cool against her feverish skin. John's mouth and hands made quick work of her bra; but she couldn't remember when he took her underwear off---or when he undressed.

It was explosive lovemaking. CJ whimpered and moaned when John pushed into her; she clawed at his back and tried to hold him close as he thrust into her repeatedly. Each thrust pushed her, and in return, she dragged him along.

They panted together and slid to the floor when their orgasms made their legs shake. CJ closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around him. "On second thought, I like the floor," she whispered.

He chuckled weakly. "I thought it was a good idea."

~*~

CJ sighed and looked to her right at John, who had been occupying the window seat. "We have to get off, don't we?"

He nodded. "I'm afraid so, Claudia Jean."

"I don't want to. The weekend was so... perfect."

John squeezed her hand. "You have to go to work."

"I know," she sighed. "Leo said he was sending someone to meet me... we can't even go home---"

He kissed her. "It's okay. I'll be waiting for you with a rose between my teeth."

"You better not be wearing any clothes," she purred, before noticing that she could get out of the seat and get off the plane. She stood and reached into the overhead compartment for her coat and purse.

He chuckled. "That can be arranged."

"Excellent."

They walked with their arms around each other, to the luggage carousels, and then to the exit. Josh was pacing outside on the sidewalk. "Ceej!" He called out, waving. "Over here!"

CJ looked up at John. "They sent Josh?"

He smiled. "You're in good hands."

"No, that just means it's serious," she groaned. "You might get cold tonight, so put some clothes on if you want."

They made their way to the other man, pulling their suitcases with them. Josh smiled. "Hi, CJ, Mr. Vi---"

"You can call me John, Josh," he interrupted.

Josh looked at him awkwardly. "Well, okay. How was your honeymoon?"

CJ smiled and then looked up at John. "Pretty close to perfect. Have you ever seen his---" she stopped. "You probably have."

"Not in a long time," Josh said as he helped put their bags in the car. "I can take John home, and then drag you back to work."

"You couldn't give me tonight?"

Josh pouted. "There's a thing. And you're good at being nice and mean at the same time. We need you."

John laughed. "When he puts it that way..."

"Almost a compliment," CJ laughed as John opened the back door; she climbed in. John got in after, settling in next to her. "Are you going to feel like a chauffeur, Josh, if we both---"

"No making out and you've got a deal," Josh said with a little smile.

CJ laughed and curled up in John's arms. "Can you brief me now?"

"Well... I'd rather there be more witnesses. If you kill me, your husband could lie to keep you out of prison. I like my chances if we're back at work."

CJ groaned. "Toby?"

Josh smirked. "And Andi."

"Jooooooooosh."

"I didn't give you the assignment, and Toby didn't want it to come to this, but even Leo's having trouble talking the lovely congresswoman out of her plans, and we were hoping, woman to woman, with your secret handshake and lip gloss tips..."

CJ closed her eyes and tucked her face into John's shoulder. He rubbed her back and kissed her temple. "You have a secret handshake?"

She laughed softly. "Yes, John, we have a secret handshake. Girls all over share this secret greeting, and no man has ever witnessed it."

"You sound very sarcastic."

"I'm being very sarcastic," she grumbled. She sighed and then whispered: "I really want to go home."

"Soon," John promised.

"Ugh."

He rubbed her back. "Do you want to call me when you're ready to go? I can pick you up."

"No," she murmured. "I'll walk home."

"Call me," he demanded. "I don't want you walking alone at night."

She smiled and rubbed his stomach. "Well, okay."

Josh dropped John off at their home---a house that John surprised CJ with, before the wedding---and then he took CJ to work. As they drove, CJ said: "This is about that trip. To Gaza, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"They can't negotiate peace!" CJ ranted, too tired and cranky to do anymore. "They're not a government! The people they're meeting with aren't a government! This whole thing is supposed to be a fact-finding mission, but it doesn't look that way in the press, and---"

"Calm down, CJ," Josh interrupted her. "I know all of this."

She sighed. "Andi doesn't though."

"Well, see, she has really good intentions. But, she's not the President, and..." he trailed off and sighed loudly. "You know all of this."

"So, why am I going to work on my last night off?"

"Andi wanted to talk with you."

CJ blinked. "She made an appointment?"

"Well, not so much an actual appointment. It was more like she and Toby had a fight while you were away, and she told Toby she wanted to talk to you about this, too. She wants to see if we're all on Toby's side? Maybe?"

CJ groaned. "Their fights have been getting worse and worse... this must just be hell."

"Toby doesn't talk about it."

"Yeah, I know," she said softly, watching the buildings as they drove. "He wouldn't."

"Are you and Andi close?"

"Well, yeah, I guess so," she replied.

Josh nodded. Then, he asked: "So, you think you could squash the entire trip?"

"Why?"

"Well, I told Donna she could go. I don't know what's going to happen to my office if she goes."

CJ laughed. "You can borrow someone from Communications if you have to. The sky won't fall because Donna goes away for a couple of days. Honestly, Josh. What are you going to do when you have to find a new job? Tie her up and drag her along?"

"Do you think she'd mind?"

"Josh!"

He sighed again. "She holds the place together. It... feels right, I mean, when she's there."

CJ nodded, feeling like she understood their relationship the entire time it was developing. She thought that Donna could do much better at this point, move beyond the White House and find her own career path away from Josh; however, Josh's reluctance to let her go, and Donna's commitment to her job, or to Josh, seemed to prevent that.

"You can't take Carol," CJ said, instead of sharing her thoughts on their relationship.

"She doesn't like me."

CJ cracked a smile. "She thinks you're weird."

"I wonder why."

She giggled softly. Soon, they were walking down the halls, to their offices. Carol was pacing around CJ's office, organising files and notes. "CJ! You're back," she said with a grin. "How was the farm?"

"It's the largest farm I've ever seen. I think it's bigger than Manchester. But," her voice dropped. "I wouldn't tell the President that."

Carol winked. "No, no. Plus, then, you two could swap farm stories."

"Oh, dear god," CJ groaned as she opened her office up. "None of that. Is Andi here yet and what's this meeting about?"

~*~

"Sir, you can't be serious," CJ said softly.

President Bartlet looked up. "I was thinking seriously, Claudia Jean. Was there something you heard in the tone of my voice that lead you to believe I was telling a funny, funny joke?"

"Well, the part about me going on the trip, sir," CJ replied, shifting her weight. "I only told Leo about my meeting with Congresswoman Wyatt because I thought she brought up some interesting arguments."

Jed smiled. "Toby thought you'd have his back."

"It's the sisterhood, sir," she said softly, smiling back at him. Then, she shook her head and said: "But, I think that if I accompany Donna and Admiral Fitzwallace, then it gives this whole trip a lot more attention than it should have."

"Are you just afraid Josh will be let near your briefing room?"

"Well, yes, to some degree," CJ admitted. "But, I know you know better than to let that happen."

"Henry can handle the briefings, can't he?"

"Well, yes, sir, but I'm still not entirely convinced that I should---" she saw the look on the president's face and sighed. "---go. I'm going, aren't I?"

"You don't want to represent your country?"

"No, I do, sir, and I think you know that, but... this trip..."

"Can you fly at this stage in your pregnancy?"

CJ nodded. "Yes, that's fine."

"I wouldn't suggest it unless you could, you know. I don't want to hurt you or the baby---"

"I know, sir," CJ smiled. "Did Leo---"

"Leo suggested it, actually. He doesn't like the idea of Toby's woman getting out of control any more than Toby does," Jed said with a smile. "Will you help us out?"

CJ smiled. "Yes, sir. You know I will."

~*~

John looked up. "You're going where?"

"The President asked me to... Andi's been pushing, and Toby's been pushing back, and... Donna's going, but---" CJ stopped and put her hands up in the air. "Anyway, I'm going, too."

"What about the babies?" He asked.

"What about them?" CJ asked. "They'll be with me, in my tummy, enjoying a dry, sunny climate. You can have your guy friends over, play poker, smoke cigars... all of that while I'm gone."

John sighed. "I don't want you to go. Doesn't that mean anything?"

CJ frowned. "Well, duh, yeah, but it was kind of an order."

"When do you go?"

"In a couple of weeks," she said softly. "Are you mad?"

"I'm going to pout tonight," he told her. "So feel free to make it up to me."

She chuckled. "Well, I'll do that."

"Good," he said, smiling a little with his eyes, although his lips were still pouting. "I ordered chinese. Do you feel up to eating something?"

"I always have room for chinese," she said, winking. He chuckled and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry I have to go. Believe me, I don't want to."

He kissed her neck. "That's okay. It's not the end of the world."

She hugged him tighter. "You can always tell Leo and the president that you won't survive without me."

John chuckled. "No, I don't think I will. They don't like me very much."

"Well, I like you plenty," she murmured, kissing his shoulder.

"You married me."

"That must mean I like you quite a lot," she teased, hugging him close again. As he rubbed her back through her suit jacket, she sighed and purred. "That feels good."

"Good," he whispered, before kissing a line down her neck.

"Bedroom," she whispered.

"What about supper?"

She lifted her eyes and shook her head. "No, not now."

"Yeah, but---"

"John, by now, you should know... when I say 'not now,' I mean 'not now.'"

"Something like 'get to the bedroom and finish what you've unknowingly started?"" He asked.

"You knew exactly what you were starting," she shot back. "I'm horny, I'm pregnant, and you took advantage of that."

"I didn't take advantage," he said as he started pointing her in direction of the bedroom. "I merely suggested... and your body responded just the way I wanted it to."

She laughed and pulled him into their room. "C'mon, you. Make love to your wife."

~*~

CJ woke up and looked around the room. Her clock still said she had a couple of hours before she had to get up and get ready, but when she tried to fall asleep, she couldn't. John was on his side, arm draped over her bare stomach, breathing deeply. She sighed and closed her eyes again, praying that she could sleep but no rest came.

"Mmm." John mumbled.

She turned and watched him. He rubbed against her, and she could feel his morning erection pressing into her thigh. Stifling a chuckle, she reached out and touched his face. "Go back to sleep, John. It's still early."

"Can't," he whispered before yawning. She rubbed his cheek before kissing it. "You're naked and you smell good and you're leaving soon."

"It's okay," she assured him.

"Yeah, the naked and good smelling parts are really okay."

She laughed and turned onto her side. "I thought so."

"You can't sleep either?"

She shook her head. "No, I can't seem to."

"Nervous?"

"Sort of. Which is ridiculous," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"I'm going to miss you," he said softly, while his hand held onto her hip.

She smiled and nodded. "How much?" She asked.

"More than you'll know," he said very seriously.

CJ slid up alongside of him and flexed her hips against him. "Yeah?"

He groaned softly and moved them so she was pinned to the mattress and he could expose her body to his hand. "Yeah," he whispered, before kissing her shoulder. "Do you want to...?"

"You think we could ever have too much sex?" She asked, rubbing his shoulder as he wiggled down over her breasts.

"You're implying that I could ever have too much of you, dear Claudia, and the answer to that inquiry is no," he said, between kisses to her growing swells.

She giggled. "Then I definitely want to."

They moved slowly. CJ knew that there would be more moments like this after she got back, but they hadn't been apart since CJ's divorce and she didn't know how a week without him would play out. She let him taste and savour her skin, and then she pushed him around so she could have her turn. She loved working him up into a lather; the desperation in his voice affected her more than she could ever articulate.

His need fueled hers, and hers fueled his again.

After deciding that he could be on top, he slid into her. They didn't move right away; instead, they rubbed each other reassuringly with their hands and kissed languidly. They drew their time together out as long as they could. CJ tried to pretend that they were just enjoying another morning before work, but she knew that wasn't the case.

His thrusts increased and she moved to meet him every time. Their groans and sighs filled the room, filtering down into the rest of the townhouse. He pushed her to the edge and backed off, before kissing her deeply and sending them both over into powerful orgasms.

"Don't go," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him to cuddle until her alarm went off.

"John... we're both being silly."

"Still."

She smiled and kissed his chest. "Yeah, I know. Me, too."

~*~

CJ saluted Admiral Fitzwallace as they walked into the White House lobby. "Sailor."

"Claudia Jean," he said with a nod. "I hear congratulations are in order."

She grinned. "John did good," she teasingly murmured, nudging her husband, who was refusing to let go of her hand.

"A couple of times," Fitzwallace added.

John grinned. "Well, I like to do my job properly."

Cj laughed and kissed his cheek. "You do. Now... you're going to have to let go of my hand. We've gotta drive to the airport."

"Don't wanna."

Donna came up to them. "She'll be in good hands, sir."

"Sir?"

"John, I mean," she quickly corrected herself. "Sorry. But, she will be. I'll personally see to her safe and timely return."

John smiled. "Well, thanks, Donna."

"No problem. Now, come on. Andi's here, now, too, and we have to go."

CJ smiled and nodded. "Yeah, okay. John... if anything changes and I can't get through to you, Carol will know what's up. Her cell phone number's on the fridge."

"I know. I was there---"

"I'm just reminding you. Behave yourself, okay?"

"I might have a poker game or something with the guys from the firm."

She smiled and nodded. "That sounds like a lot of fun. Don't smoke inside."

"Out on the porch. I promise."

"Good," she grinned. After a series of soft kisses, she stepped away reluctantly. "That house better be standing when I come home, John."

"It will. I promise," he murmured. "And you have a safe trip."

She nodded. "I'm sure I will." She paused and said: "I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too."

After another kiss, they parted. CJ waved until she got into the car, and then she watched him watch the vehicles until she couldn't see him anymore. Andi smiled. "I really appreciate you coming, CJ."

CJ smiled and nodded. "You owe my husband big time, you know."

Andi laughed. "I'll make sure I send him a token of my appreciation."

~*~

"Mr. Hoynes?"

He pushed the intercom button on his phone. "Yes, Leanne?"

"Your wife's assistant is on line one."

John sighed. "Okay. Thanks." He pushed the button and picked up the phone's receiver. "Carol? I'm sorry, but I couldn't find CJ's notes on----"

Carol's voice was shaking. "Turn the news on."

"What happened?" He demanded, voice booming as panic raced through his system. "Carol? Are you there?"

"Ye-yeah," she replied. "I... there was a bomb in their suburban."

"Whose?"

"We've seen pictures. CJ and Donna were in that car... with Fitzwallace and a couple congressmen. Andi was in another car. She called and told us what happened---"

His mouth was dry and he couldn't move, but he managed to ask a series of questions: "Is Claudia alive? Is she hurt? What about the babies? What's---"

"She was alive when medics arrived... they're taking CJ and Donna to a naval hospital."

"I have to get there," he said. "Which one? Where?"

"I have to go," Carol said shakily. "Henry has to give a briefing--- I'll get Josh to call you, okay?"

"Carol!"

She was gone, the soft click confirmed it. John hung the phone up and cried for a moment, before pulling himself together as best as he could. He paced around the room, and then gathered his things up. Before he put his coat on, his assistant came to the door and told him Josh was on the phone.

"Josh? Where are they?"

"Germany," he said. He gave a few more specific details, and then added: "I'm going to the airport now to see about getting on a plane."

"I have... Claudia... the babies---"

"John, you have to pull it together. Go home, grab some things, and meet me at the airport."

He sighed. "Yeah. Okay. I'll be there soon."

John hung the phone up, put his coat on, and stepped out of his office. "I have to go. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Mr. Hoynes?"

"Someone... there was a bombing in Gaza."

"Sir, Gaza is far from here---"

"My wife is there! It was her vehicle. I have to go."

With that, he stormed out and raced to his car.

~*~

CJ moaned and tried to open her eyes, but she couldn't find the strength. She tried to remember why her eyelids were so heavy, but her last memory---a lighthearted conversation with Fitzwallace---wasn't explaining it for her.

She tried to move and then she felt a sharp pain grip her. "Ugh," she grunted.

"Ms. Cregg?"

"Hoynes," she barely whispered. "My... babies--"

"Lie still," the voice instructed her. "We've got to get you out of here."

"Babies," she murmured over and over. There was commotion all around and she couldn't understand why the noise was so deafening. "Please..."

A fresh wave of pain washed over her, and the confusion she was sifting through was the last thing on her mind---especially as it went blank and the darkness swallowed her senses.

~*~

John paced up and down the hall of the naval hospital. Josh, who was with Donna, hadn't been any good at keeping the frantic husband calm. He walked up, he walked down, and if anyone came towards him, he demanded to know what was going on.

"She's in surgery, sir," one nurse said.

"What about the babies?"

"I don't know," she replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work."

Those responses were making him crazy. Josh put his hand on John's shoulder. "John?"

"Josh, why are you---"

"Donna's nurse told us you were crazy," he said with a half-smile.

"How is she?"

Josh sighed. "Broken leg... internal bleeding... she's in a lot of pain, but awake, so that's good."

John nodded. "Yeah."

"Have you heard anything?"

"No," John glowered. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "She has to be okay."

"She will be," Josh assured him.

"Josh... she has to be."

Josh nodded. "I know. She will be."

John started pacing again. Josh watched for a few minutes, and then he slipped away to check on Donna again.

~*~

The next time CJ woke up, she felt safer. The world around her was quiet, she noticed, and much more calming. She couldn't remember why there had been so much panic around her before, but she knew that where she was at that moment was better.

As she regained consciousness, she began to piece together what had happened. The joking. Donna's new friend. The explosion.

"My babies..." she murmured, trying to move. "My babies!"

She felt a tugging on her hand. "Claudia?" John's voice was raspy. He sounded exhausted. "Lie still, okay?"

"But---"

"Hush. You're going to have to put up with some tough love here."

She managed a half smile as he kissed her hand. "I like your tough love."

"Good. Now, sleep, okay?"

"What about---"

"They're hanging in there. Can you feel the baby monitor on your stomach?"

She grunted. "Can't feel anything. Body is in serious pain."

John kissed her hand again. "Just rest for now."

"Rest good... talking later."

"Exactly," John murmured. "I'll be here the whole time."

"Talk to me," she whispered. "Tell me things."

John paused for a moment before speaking. "Okay... Donna's conscious. She had a man visit and give her flowers. Since then, Josh has been on the ceiling. He's freaking out."

"Met him. Nice," CJ commented groggily.

"Donna doesn't want to explain herself. She said you gave her some very wise advice," he told her. CJ managed a small nod. "And... well, Josh is freaking out. He'll have some questions for you when you're up to handling him. Leo called twice. He's pretty worried about you. Carol's been holding the fort down, and keeping a leash on Henry. Everything's okay at work. The president has to give a statement soon... Toby's hot under the collar, desperate for action, and the president doesn't seem to be doing what they want."

"Leo said?"

"Yeah, that's what Leo said," he told her.

"How long have I---"

"A few days," he answered.

"What about your work?"

"I'm here until you come home," he promised. "Now, sleep, okay?"

CJ opened one eye. "Go clean up. You look scruffy," she commented.

"I don't want to leave."

"No kissing till you're scruff-free," she grumbled, closing her eye.

He chuckled and brushed his lips over her knuckles. "Okay. I'll be back soon."

"Love you," she whispered as he got up.

"I love you, too, Claudia. Sweet dreams."

~*~

John smiled and kissed her hand as she woke up. "Mmm," she whispered, before stretching a little. "Feels good. No scruff."

"How are you?" He asked, looking her over.

She looked at him. "It still hurts."

"Where?"

"Everywhere," she said, blinking. "Donna?"

"Donna's still alert. You missed Bartlet's address."

"Damn," she muttered. "How was it?"

"Toby must be freaking out. The president's supposed to be throwing a baseball sometime soon. Between the speech and the pitch... he's gotta be freaking out."

CJ replied. "Leo's probably freaking out, too. Did they call?"

"No. Josh was talking to Toby. Josh stopped by while you were sleeping."

"Oh, okay." She stifled a yawn and tried to swallow. "My throat hurts. Is there water?"

"Yeah, hold on." Soon, CJ was sucking cool water through a straw. John held the cup up for her, and as she drank, he watched her carefully. "You look so pale."

"I feel pale," she whispered.

"The doctor's coming soon," he told her.

"Good. Wanna hear about my babies."

John smiled. "Yeah, me, too."

"Josh wanted to talk to you today."

CJ shook her head. "Only you. He'll tire me out."

"Okay," he agreed. "Why don't you close your eyes?"

"Will you?"

"No," he answered. "But, I will go get some coffee. How about that?"

"Fair enough. Go check on Donna for me, too?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'll be back when the doctor comes."

John leaned in and kissed her lips. CJ shifted and tried to get comfortable, but she found it next to impossible. When he turned around to look at her once before leaving, she pasted a smile on her face and held it until he couldn't see her anymore. Then, she closed her eyes and tried to ignore the pain.

It was awful. She didn't know which part of her body hurt more. She resorted to deep breaths, hoping extra oxygen would help; nothing seemed to, though, and by the time the doctor came into the room, she was beside herself.

"Mrs. Hoynes? Are you alright?"

"Hurts."

He eyed her. "Where?"

"Everywh---" she stopped and gasped. "Stomach. Hips. Oh... ow."

He checked her over and then glanced at the monitors. He paged the staff, and soon, CJ felt herself being wheeled out of her comfortable room into a more sterile environment.

~*~

John smiled down at Donna. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Everything still hurts like hell," she corrected. "But, like a less sweltering hell."

He chuckled. "I'm glad for that, then."

"You should go see your wife," she reminded him. "She'll think we stole you."

Josh snorted. "She'll think you stole him."

Donna winked. "Well, Josh, he is awfully handsome. And he has been shaving. You... you haven't been, scruff man," she teased. "Why don't you get cleaned up?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll miss something. Although, if your latest boy toy comes back---" he stopped when he saw the look on her face. "Donna, I'm sorry. I'm just..."

"A jealous fool," John grumbled.

Donna gasped and Josh made a strangled noise. John groaned and covered his face with his hands. Silence enveloped them. John couldn't believe he said what he did, but it had always seemed obvious. He had known Josh for a while, before he met Donna, and he had never seen him look at a woman the way he did at Donna. Not even Amy, from what he had a chance to observe, captured him the same way the blonde did.

"Sorry," John muttered. "I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay," Donna smiled awkwardly. "He's always tried to keep me from having a life."

"I'm going to check on my wife," he said softly. "She must be ready to see me again."

"Say hi to the babies for me," Donna said with a grin. "And CJ, too."

"I will," John said, nodding.

He walked out of the room, and down the hall, towards the room that CJ was being kept in. Smiling to himself over his stupid smart mouth and how Josh must be hating him at that moment, he pushed the door open and started talking: "Claudia, you won't believe what I just---"

The room was empty.

He rushed back into the hall and tried to find a nurse. Finally, after a few frantic minutes, he found one. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Where's my wife?"

"I don't know... hang on one second. I'll find out."

He followed her to the nurses' station and tapping his fingers on the light countertop impatiently. Finally, she came back to him. "Mr. Hoynes, there were some complications... your wife is--- oh, there's Dr. Thorne. He'll be able to explain to you what's going on."

John rushed the doctor and demanded to know what was going on. Dr. Thorne rubbed his beard and said: "She was experiencing acute pain in her abdomen. By the time we got to her, the pain was in her lower back, as well, and when we moved her into an examination room, she was bleeding, and---"

"The babies?" John asked, face pale.

"I'm sorry," the doctor said softly.

John's eyes watered and his legs started shaking. The doctor helped him into a chair. "Is Claudia... is she going to be alright?"

"She will be," the doctor assured her.

John sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. He stayed bent down for a few minutes, trying to control his breathing. Then, he said: "Can I see her?"

"Yes, she's being brought back to her room now."

The minutes ticked by so slowly. He paced outside her door, trying to compose himself before going in there, so he could be the rock she would need him to be. When he walked in, she was as pale as her sheets.

"Claudia," he whispered, taking her hand as he sat down. "I love you so much."

Her eyelids fluttered open and she stared at him. "I'm so sorry," she managed to say, voice raspy and hitching a couple of times.

"Don't... it's not your fault. It's not," he said firmly, closing his eyes and showering her hand with kisses. "I was so worried... I thought... I don't know what I thought. I was a madman, Claudia. The nurses didn't know where you were, and then they tracked you down. I had to wait for a doctor. I was so afraid I had lost you."

Her eyes welled up with tears. "I lost the twins. I--- are you mad?"

"I have you," he whispered. "I wasn't ready to give you up."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered again.

"Shhhh... quit apologising," he said. "I love you more than you'll ever know, and I'm not going to lose you."

"I really wanted a child this time..." she whispered. "I wanted your children so badly."

"I know. I did, too," he admitted. "But, we can always try again... who knows what'll happen."

"Ye-yeah," she replied, lower lip trembling.

He kissed her hand again. "What do you want me to do?"

"Hold me?" She asked softly.

"I don't want to hurt you---"

"Please," she whispered. "Just help me move to the side a bit... and then you can hold me."

He did as she asked, and when he was lying next to her, kissing her forehead, he murmured: "How's that?"

"A little better," she said, closing her eyes.

"Now, let's just rest. You need it if you're coming home with me in a couple of weeks."

She nodded. "Kay..."

"I spilled the beans about Josh to Donna," he told her, hoping that his mistake would relieve them both of the pain they were experiencing, even for a moment. "Josh was in the room." He heard her groan and he smiled. "I'm in trouble."

"What happened?" She asked.

"Donna brushed it off by saying she knew that he hated sharing her," John answered.

"Trouble," she muttered. "The reporter guy was nice. Donna-like."

"You don't like the idea of her and Josh together?"

"Josh's selfish. He can't have his cake and eat it, too."

John smiled. "Maybe this trip will make him realise how important she is to him."

"Maybe."

"Because I thought I knew how important you are to me... but that was only the tip of the iceberg," he whispered. She made a noise and snuggled into him. "You're my world," he promised.

~*~

"Guys!?" CJ whined in the middle of the Oval Office, stomping her foot. "I'm not going to break!"

Toby cleared his throat, and then made the first move. He hugged her. "I'm glad you're back."

"How's Andi?" She whispered.

"She's doing fine," he told her. "How's John?"

"Freaking out," she smiled. "Still. Mother hen stuff."

"Ceej?"

She looked up and found herself in Josh's arms. "Hey, Josh. Long time no see."

"Well, since you've been locked up at home... no," he reminded her.

She smiled. She was glad to have something to focus on, other than her recovery. John had been driving her crazy. She needed to get back to work. When she showed up, Carol told her that they were in the Oval, and that she was running late. CJ had flashed her a nervous grin and rushed down.

"It's so great to be here again," she said softly.

"Claudia Jean..." Leo said gruffly, approaching her.

"Leopold," CJ said affectionately, before hugging him.

After they embraced, CJ looked up and saw President Bartlet watching her carefully. He frowned. "CJ, I'm so sorry... I didn't know---"

"No one knew it would happen, sir," CJ tried to make him feel better, even though she knew that no one else could do that for him but himself. "I don't blame you. It had been a lovely trip up until then, anyway."

"Still."

"I know, sir," she nodded. "And I've accepted your apology already, so let's get back to work."

~*~

CJ came in the door and toed her shoes off. She hung her coat up and dropped her briefcase on a nearby chair, and then she walked into her home, looking for her husband.

"Hi," he said softly when she rounded the corner and found him in a chair in the living room, reading a folder. "How was work?"

"Once we got past the first briefing, and staff's collective thought about me being so breakable," she said with a sigh. "It was fine."

"They must have been glad to have you back," he said softly. "Did Carol cry?"

"Not right away," CJ replied with a smile. "Around lunchtime, she cried."

John smiled up at her. "Did you cry?"

"No, not today," she answered. She tucked her hair back behind her ear and said: "I'm going to get a shower, you want to join me?"

"Nah..."

She sighed. "John. You look awful." She came over and kneeled in front of him with a little difficulty. Her hands slipped up over his knees. "Hard day at work?"

"I spent most of it worried about you," he admitted softly.

She smiled. He reached down and rubbed her cheek. She knew he could still see the faint bruising on her face, and she knew that his touch was entirely too gentle for her liking. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. "That feels nice," she whispered, before turning her head and kissing his hand. "Come get a shower with me," she insisted.

"I'm okay."

"John... it will do you some good."

"CJ---"

"You can't hurt me," she grumbled. He sighed and looked away. She sighed, too, and then stood up. "Fine. Eventually we're going to have to talk about this, though."

"Talk about what?"

"Nevermind. I'm getting a shower," she said, storming out of the room.

Once in the bathroom, she closed the door and considered locking it. John had been acting so strangely. It was worse than anything she had encountered at work that day, and it only seemed to be progressing each day. He looked at her differently, he stopped touching her, and when she brought his behavior up, he grew frustrated and angry.

She ran the water and undressed, stripping her body of the armour she had been wearing. Soon, she was under the steady stream of warm water and trying to get her body to relax. She washed away her troubles and stepped out of the shower, only to be faced with them again when she left the safety of the bathroom, wrapped up in her robe.

John was cooking. She came up behind him and put her hands on his waist. "You missed a nice shower," she whispered in his ear.

"Water warm?"

"Water perfect," she told him. "What are you making?"

"Never you mind," he said, smiling as he tapped her outstretched hand away from the pot.

She chuckled and trapped his hand in hers. Before he could react, she pulled him around. "Well, what if I want dessert first?"

"There's some ice cream in the fridge," he told her softly. "I got your favorite."

She sighed and moved away. "Yeah, whatever."

~*~

After a week of that treatment, CJ had had enough. She got Leo to let her go home early, and since she arrived two hours ago, she was busy making the necessary arrangements for her plan to work.

She was waiting for him in the bedroom when he came home. He turned the light on in the room and found himself being pushed towards the bed.

"What the hell?!" He exclaimed, craning his neck to see CJ. "Claudia?!"

"Shut up," she growled, shoving him hard. He scrambled to get up, but she was too quick. Two clicks and he found himself cuffed to the headboard. "There."

"Claudia?! What's going on?" His eyes widened when he took in what she was wearing: black lace and silk. She moved off the bed and turned the bedside lamp on. "Claudia?"

She smiled. "Since you won't talk... I'm just going to hold you here against your will."

"What are you talking about?"

She moved around, lighting the occasional candle. "Leo let me out early. I told him we had to talk and that it couldn't wait. He's understanding like that."

"Okay, but---"

"You have been treating me like shit the past couple of weeks," she grumbled, coming back to the bed to take his shoes and socks off. "So, you have to make it up to me."

"Hard to do it from here," he pointed out.

"Well, I can't keep you focused. You keep bringing up ice cream and how tired you are and how much you want to go for a run."

"So you tied me up?"

"Yes," she said softly. "I did. How fragile can I be if I locked you up, John? I pushed you on the bed, held you down and handcuffed you."

"Well, I was shocked. Um, where'd you get the cuffs?"

She smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He chuckled. "I would. Because if you took them from a Marine or someone---"

"They're fuzzy cuffs, John," she sighed. "Officers don't have fur-lined cuffs."

He blushed. "Oh, yeah. Right."

"Now," she said, coming over and sitting on the bed. "We have that out of the way, so we can talk."

"Talk?" He asked, voice high as he felt her fingers unfastening his belt. "You want to talk?"

"Yes. Now... how we talk is entirely up to you."

"Ummm... how about over a glass of mineral water?"

"Nice try."

He sighed. "I tried."

"Now..." she pulled his pants down and tossed them aside. Much to her surprise and delight, she saw a development in his boxers. She leaned down and kissed a line up one of his legs. "What's going on in your head?"

"Nothing," he croaked. He tipped his head up and watched her take his tie off. She fingered the fabric thoughtfully and smiled. He gasped. "What are you thinking?"

"Blindfold," she told him honestly.

He groaned and then found himself in total darkness.

"Can you see?"

"No," he replied, pouting a little.

"Good. Maybe this will make it easier."

"Make what easier?"

"Well, now that you don't have to look at me, maybe you can enjoy this."

"I'd rather look at you!"

She snorted. "Hardly. You haven't wanted to look at me for weeks."

"What?!"

She sighed and felt her resolve begin to crumble. "I've tried... I want you. I want you so much it hurts, John. And you just ignore me. You completely ignore me. Do you hate my body for what it did to our babies? I do! But, I can't handle your hatred, too!"

His jaw dropped. "You think I hate you?"

"I think you hate my body," she said softly, her eyes watering up with tears as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"I don't... Claudia... please untie me."

"No," she whispered. "I need you... and if you can't see me... maybe... maybe you'll need me, too."

"You know you've never sounded more crazy."

"So, now, you hate me, and you think I'm crazy," she whispered, frowning.

"No, I don't... Claudia, please, untie me."

At this point, she was crying softly. Her entire plan had been ruined, because she wasn't strong enough and because he managed to make her cry. Did he really think she was crazy? She couldn't stop herself from wondering if he did. She knew that they would never figure things out if she couldn't make him talk to her, and if they couldn't figure things out, she didn't know what was going to happen to their marriage.

"Claudia... c'mon."

She hiccuped and reached over him to undo the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists and she sat at the foot of the bed, crying still. "Claudia?"

"I'm going to go get dressed," she whispered.

He groaned as he pulled the tie off of his eyes. "No, don't. Please."

"I'm pretty embarrassed, John, so if you could just let me go---" she felt his hand on her upper arm, and soon she was lying down on the bed, on her back, looking up at him as the tears continued to stream down her face. "John!"

"It's my turn," he said softly. "Let's talk."

"You don't want to--- you never want to---"

"Hush," he scolded. "I'm sorry. I've been acting like an asshole."

"You have been," she whispered hoarsely, closing her eyes to avoid his gaze.

"And you look incredible," he added. "I'm a fool, on top of being an asshole."

"Yes," she agreed, nodding.

"I didn't know how much you were hurting," he admitted. "I was too involved... I was so worried about you. About hurting you. I almost lost you... and... I thought after you miscarried, that sex was something you weren't ready for."

"You could have asked. I tried to get you to want me... nothing seemed to work."

He nodded. "It worked. Believe me. I didn't want to take advantage of you."

"Stupid fool. I was throwing myself at you," she said, sniffling. "You haven't touched me since I came home from Germany. And there, I could only get you to lie down next to me. You'd kiss my forehead. You wouldn't do the things you used to do. I thought I did something wrong. I thought you hated me."

"I don't hate you!" He exclaimed. "I was afraid I'd hurt you."

She sniffled again. She would have wiped her cheeks, but John was holding her hands down. She blinked back more tears and looked up at him. "You hurt me anyway," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I really, really am."

"I need you," she pleaded. "I need you to love me, to not hate me."

"I don't hate you."

She cried more. "Even though I killed your babies?"

"You didn't. It wasn't your fault. I've never blamed you for a second," he said, eyes dark and serious.

"Will you touch me? Love me?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I never meant to make you think I didn't love you. I need you more than you'll ever know."

"You don't hate me," she whispered.

"Never," he assured her. "Not in a million years."

"John... I feel so stupid."

"I feel stupid," he added. "I thought I was protecting you. Turns out I was hurting you... I can't even begin to explain how awful---"

"Shhh," she cut him off. "Just hold me for now, okay?"

He nodded and slipped down, wrapping himself around her. "Yeah. Anything you want."

"Later, when I don't feel like such a complete fool, I'm going to want more."

"I hope I'm in a position to give you more," he whispered. He smiled and kissed her forehead. "I have to say, though, the aggressive side of you... damn. Hot."

She smiled and snuggled into him. "Yeah?"

"I've never been shoved on the bed and tied up like that," he continued. "I never thought you were... into dominating your man."

"I'm not, really," she whispered. "I needed to keep you down. I needed to... I thought I was going to make you talk to me."

He kissed her shoulder. "I love you, Claudia Jean."

"I love you, too... I'm so glad you don't hate me."

"Never. Stop saying that. It's freaking me out."

"Okay," she whispered.

"So... do you think there are going to be any national crises tonight?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Leo told me it looked clear for the next ten hours."

"Excellent."

"Why?" She asked, looking up at him.

He grinned and moved his hands up her arms. "I'm feeling frisky."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he murmured, kissing her lips.

She smiled and eased herself into the kiss, not wanting to drown in her lust right away. His hands travelled, and then she felt them move off of her as he shifted. And, then, she felt fur and two soft clicks.

"John?"

He grinned. "It's come to my attention that I've been a bad husband, and I need to make it up to you."

"No kidding," she grunted, tugging on the cuffs.

"Lie still, and let me... make it up."

She smiled. "John..."

"I want your undivided attention," he explained. "You gave me an idea. And now, I have you at my mercy."

~*~

CJ whimpered. "Jooohn..."

He grinned and let his hands skim over her body, still covered by the nightgown she had been wearing since he came home. "Yes, Claudia?"

"I... I need to touch you."

"You're so easy... I haven't even gotten you undressed yet."

"It's been, like, forever, John!" She exclaimed. "I need you so much."

"And this is why I used the restraints to my advantage," he explained, getting up and reaching into her bedside table for her small sewing scissors. He smiled when her eyes widened. "Don't worry," he murmured. "I'm going to buy you a new one."

She gasped when the cool metal touched her skin, and then again when he cut the fabric and pulled it off of her body. She watched him. He looked more relaxed and very excited. His eyes weren't cryptic; the barriers weren't there. He was with her. Finally.

He grinned again and then dipped down to start raining kisses over her body. He loomed over her and kissed her lips. She arched up into him as best as she could, and tried to earn more access to his kiss, but he backed up.

"Not so fast."

"Joooooohn."

He laughed. "I'm sorry we haven't done this sooner," he said when the happy sounds faded away. "And I'm sorry I hurt you..."

"I know," she whispered.

"Let me make it up to you."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're not going to hide from me anymore, are you?"

"I suppose you'd be angry if I did," he reasoned. She nodded. He kissed her once. "Well, I don't want you to be angry with me again, if I can help it. But... I really was worried that I'd hurt you, Claudia---"

She nodded again. "I think you were being stupid, but I understand."

"You do?"

She smiled. "Yeah. John... you wanna untie me?"

"No..." he said, shaking his head. "Do you want the blindfold?"

She bit her lip and then shook her head. With a smile, he kissed her, nibbling on her lip for her from time to time. She whimpered. She knew he was kissing her with much more deliberation than he usually did, drawing out the moment and deriving as much pleasure out of the experience for both of them.

He moved down, kissing over her throat. He sucked slowly, and she knew that there would be marks over her skin, but she didn't care. It felt too good. When he moved lower, she cried out and arched her back, giving him more access to her breasts. He nibbled, sucked, and licked, making her cry out more.

Instead of kissing over her stomach, he moved back up and resumed kissing her neck. "John..." she whispered. "You---"

"Wear a turtleneck," he advised, chuckling.

She smiled and laughed a little, but when his mouth started sucking on her skin again, the laughter melted into moans. "John... please..."

"I want to do this properly. We don't get to have make up sex too often," he said, smiling a little.

She nodded. "True... but, I'm about to explode. You must be, too, and---"

"Oh, hush," he scolded, before kissing her lips.

They kissed slowly for a long time. CJ didn't know how much time had passed, but it felt like an eternity until John took off the rest of his clothes and rejoined her on the bed. After that, things happened quickly.

She whimpered as John eased himself inside of her. He was being gentle, but she could feel how tense he was. It didn't take long for either of them to reach climax, and when they both did, they colapsed, panting for much-needed breath.

"John?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Untie me please? I wanna hold you," she whispered.

Soon, she found herself freed from the headboard and in his arms. She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat while her fingers strummed across his stomach. "How's that?" he whispered, brushing his fingers through her hair.

"Don't hide from me again," she whispered back, voice soft but very firm.

"I won't. I didn't know how to handle... I... I didn't know. I didn't know what I was feeling, and I definitely didn't know what you were feeling---"

"Just don't hide from me again."

He smiled a little. "Okay."

"Promise me?"

"I promise," he replied. He thought for a moment, and then he said: "Claudia?"

"Mmhmm?"

"Can we use these handcuffs again sometime?"

She chuckled and kissed his chest. "Sure. But, I'm tying you up next time."

"Deal."

The End!