Disclaimer: I don't own Grissom, worse luck, Catherine or any of the gang. I just play in their sandbox. Dedication: Thanks to AbyKitten for being patient and betaing and vividlyblue1 for putting me up to this! Author's Note: Posting this against my better judgement because it's a WIP but Jac and Angie here you go!
Chapter 6
Some weeks later.
Gil Grissom stormed into his home and barely resisted the urge to slam the door, it would vent his frustration but that wouldn't help. God sometimes he hated this job and the case they'd just concluded was one of those times.
It had been a very rough week. Nick and Sara had insisted on sticking with his case, as they referred to it, which left him, Catherine and Warrick to work on one of his pet hates. Two eight-year-old boys had been found four days apart. Classmates, one had been buried in a nearby park, the other found in the desert. Both had been sexually assaulted then murdered, their last hours on earth filled with terror. The similarities had point to one man being responsible, but it had still taken them the better part of four days to get all the evidence together so they could catch him. Just in time as it turned out, for they'd found another eight-year-old boy imprisoned in his apartment. The photos and paraphernalia scattered throughout the house had made him sick and angry. The case had deeply affected all of them. Grissom knew he should be satisfied that another sicko was off the streets, but he knew from experience that there would be another sick bastard just waiting to take his place.
He threw his jacket onto a chair and standing still he checked his pulse, it was racing and the blood was pounding in his ears. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself. A throb started in his temple and began to settle over his left eye. 'Damn,' he thought, 'that's all I need, a migraine.' He walked over to the kitchen unit where he kept his medicines. Popping two into his mouth he took some bottled water from the refrigerator and swallowed them. Replacing the bottle he headed to the sofa, passing the cupboard where he kept a limited amount of alcohol. He thought of taking a drink but decided against it, not on top of the migraine meds.
He was about to stretch out on the sofa when a noise caught his attention. It seemed to be coming from his bedroom, but that couldn't be right, there was no one else here or there shouldn't be. Grissom froze, was it them again? God he hoped not. His stomach tightened and his heart began to race even faster. He berated himself, no they wouldn't risk being discovered here, and they wanted to keep their anonymity. That would start all over again with another phone call; after all, why try to mend what isn't broken?
Quietly and reluctantly he made his way along the hallway to his bedroom. Hiding in the living room wasn't going to do him any good. Reaching for the door he grabbed the handle and thrust the door open into the room. Then he stopped in surprise, for there standing beside his bed was a very startled Catherine Willows.
"Gil," she squeaked then clearing her throat continued, "I didn't hear you come in." She looked slightly guilty.
Grissom smiled, "Catherine, what are you doing here?" he saw the sparkle dim in her eyes and added quickly, "not that I'm not happy to see you."
Catherine chuckled and put a jar of anaesthetic cream on the bedside table. "I saw you wincing and moving quite stiffly at work today and realised you were hurting, not that you'd tell anyone," she explained, "so I decided to pamper you."
He shook his head and rubbed his temples, he thought he'd managed to hide his growing discomfort. It was impossible for him to take care of all his injuries himself but he didn't want Catherine to feel obligated, not that she would let anyone else help anyway. He didn't know if she knew he'd heard her refuse Warrick and Nick when they'd offered. "I was just going to take a quick shower and then get some sleep," he murmured knowing it was a lie the minute he said it. He also realised he was very glad Catherine was there.
"Migraine?" She asked seeing him rub his head and noticing the tension in his eyes, the stiff way he was holding his neck. He nodded. "Well your bath should be ready by now," she told him, "I've added some Lavindin and peppermint oils to help you relax and when you're ready I'll apply the cream and give you a nice massage."
It all sounded so tempting, "You don't have to do all this, Cath," he answered.
She smiled that brilliantly captivating smile that could light up a whole room and answered him, "Not have to, Gil, want to. Now go have your bath."
He languished in the hot water letting the heat and the oils leach the tension out of his body, until the water grew too cold. Lethargically he staggered out of the bath and dried himself off, wrapping a clean towel around his waist. He hadn't realised just how exhausted he was. Muscles in his arms and legs spasmed weakly and he ignored them, walking back into the room where his angel was waiting for him.
"Here you go," Catherine smiled pointing to the bed and waiting for him to get comfortable. As she started to work the cream into his back his mind slipped back to the first few weeks after the attack. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Grissom had noticed this morning that things were starting to get better. He'd finally been able to eat a meal without spilling it everywhere like a baby. It was something at least.
They'd told him he'd been lucky, he only had a mild addiction to the amphetamines they had plied him with, so the withdrawal symptoms shouldn't be too severe. He supposed severity was a relative term. They'd been bad enough. There had been times when his limbs hadn't felt as though they were under his control. He'd spent nights alternating between cooking in his own sweat and shivering, despite everything Catherine tried to keep him warm. Most of the time though he had slept and that had been worse. The continual nightmares had been horrific and he'd fought his way back to wakefulness with everything he had, finding each time that Catherine was there holding him and offering him comfort and protection.
He'd been very glad Lindsey had spent the first ten days at Catherine's sisters, he'd been really scared he'd frighten her with all his crying and shouting. But the young girl had become increasingly upset. She'd been told that a bad man had hurt Uncle Gil and made him sick, so her mom was taking care of him.
Lindsey didn't like her Uncle Gil being hurt or sick and she was glad her mom was nursing him, but she wanted to see him for herself. Wanted to make sure he wasn't going to leave them like her daddy had. Not only that she was sure there was some way she could help.
So, against Grissom's better judgement, they'd decided to let her come home. He just hoped he didn't scare her off. He loved Catherine, though he'd never admitted as much to her, and he adored Lindsey as if she were his own daughter, they were both very important to him and he didn't want to risk losing them. Despite everything Eddie had tried and done, Catherine had made a great job of raising a kind, gentle, understanding and responsible daughter who at time acted much older than her ten years.
A knock cam at the door, "Uncle Gil?" came the young voice filled with hope and excitement, "can I come in?"
Grissom raised his head, looking over his shoulder at Catherine. She could see the panic in his face and knew he'd only just stopped himself from snapping out a negative at the child. There was no way either of them would let her in just now.
"Not right now, honey," Catherine answered a smile in her voice, "I'm putting Uncle Gil's cream on."
"Oh," the voice sounded mournful at the refusal, "I see. Okay," she tried to sound understanding.
They both heard her dejectedly walking away from the door. Catherine raised her voice so her daughter would still be able to hear her, "Why don't you wash up and do your homework, Uncle Gil should be ready by then?"
The light and joy was back in the young girl's voice. "You bet!" she cried and giggling headed for the bathroom.
Once she'd finished his massage, Catherine helped Grissom into a T-shirt and boxer shorts. Helping him slide under the covers he lay back, propped up in the bed on two pillows. "Ready?" she asked him. She knew he was nervous about Lindsey's reaction, but Catherine had every confidence in her daughter. He nodded, looking at the door expectantly. "Okay, Lindsey!" She shouted.
The heard the girl come charging along the hallway, the door flew open and she came barrelling into the room. Just as Grissom thought he was going to have to warn her off, she came to a screeching halt at the side of the bed. Then slowly and gently she climbed onto the bed, working her way under his arm and snuggling into his chest. "I love you, Uncle Gil," she sighed contentedly.
Automatically Grissom wrapped his arms around her, "I love you too, honey," he said, giving her a squeeze and kissing the top of her head. What had he been afraid of? This was Lindsey. 'Like mother, like daughter,' he thought.
Catherine stood watching for a few moments, relishing the contented looks on both of their faces. Then she could resist no longer; she climbed onto the other side of the bed and put her arm around Grissom's shoulders, the other hand lightly grasping his bicep. He looked up at her, smiled and rested his head back on the pillows. Within moments he was asleep, a smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Lindsey looked up at her mom with a grin on her face that seemed to say /I told you so./ 'Minxlet,' Catherine thought. When had her child become so wise? <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
"Ach!" Catherine exclaimed startling Grissom out of his reverie. He had to lift his head or risk his words being lost in the pillow, "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Forgot I had my new pants on, this stuff really stains and it doesn't always come out either," she muttered going into the bathroom. He started to move onto his side, bringing the towel with him and said," I told you that you don't have to..." but she cut him off. "Just lay there and relax, I'll be right back." As she came back into the room and he heard a lot of rustling, then he felt her climb on the bed and straddle his hips. When he felt her bare flesh touch his thighs he jumped. The warmth and softness was exhilarating and he felt his desire begin to rise. "Catherine, what are you doing?" he asked a trace of panic in his voice.
"It's okay," she reassured him, "just getting comfy and making sure I don't have to throw out any more clothes."
He felt guilty about that, but she hadn't told him before. He'd need to replace those clothes, it was the least he could do after all she had done for him lately. This went beyond mere friendship, but then Catherine had declared she felt more than that for him, he just didn't know what to do about it yet. There was also a hint of mischief in her voice, but he didn't ask about that, she'd tell him when she was good and ready and not before.
The massage was wonderful, totally relaxing and the cream helped to take the aching soreness away. He was almost asleep when he heard her say, accusingly, "You lied to me you know."
'Oh, oh,' he thought, 'what have I done now?' all he said was, "I did, when?"
Catherine gave a chuckle, "Don't play the innocent with me, Gil," she gently ran her hands through his hair, God she loved to do that, it was so soft and curly, "you were supposed to go to the clinic today but you cancelled... again."
He sighed in defeat, he had hoped that what with everything that had happened lately about that last damn case she would have forgotten, apparently he couldn't be that lucky. He opened his mouth to reply but she stopped him, "That's the sixth time, Gil, and it just won't do."
He was puzzled, how did she know how many times he'd cancelled? He deliberately hadn't told anyone so they couldn't keep tabs on him. What difference was it to them whether he went or not anyway? Resentment began to swell within him.
"Doctor Evering called the Lab looking for you today, but you'd already left so she asked to speak to me." Catherine explained, a slight edge creeping into her voice. Why was he trying to hide this from her now?
"She'd no right to do that!" Grissom snapped, why couldn't they just all leave him alone, "it's nobody's business but my own!"
"I don't believe you just said that!" Catherine snapped back, trying to reign in her temper. It would do no good to have a shouting match, he would just become defensive and nothing would get solved. She had to remember that his moods were still being badly affect by the drug withdrawal and that he was bound to be sensitive about this after everything he had gone through.
Without thinking, Grissom spun round on the bed to continue the argument and stopped short. Staring at Catherine straddling him clad only in her underwear, he was suddenly very aware of the fact that he was completely naked. He tried to turn back but she caught at his arms, a devilish glint appearing in her eyes. "Now isn't this fortuitous," she chuckled, "maybe we can do part of the research ourselves?"
Grissom lay perfectly still, his entire body tensing and his heart racing in panic. He couldn't believe what she was suggesting. "Catherine, I can't," he whispered, his eyes showing his emotions.
"Can't or won't, Gil?" she asked. She knew if Grissom never went for the test, a time like this would come. He'd find himself with a partner and be too afraid to do anything. She'd prayed that partner would be her. Although she had been honest about her feelings for him, he had been reticent about replying and she'd expected nothing less, but maybe this was the time to push it.
"I can't," he said, adding quietly, "I'm scared."
She caressed his cheek with her hand, allowing her sympathy and understanding to show through in her movements. "There's nothing to be scared of, honey," she told him, smiling, "it's just me and you. If it works it works, if it doesn't we'll find a way to fix it."
Grissom shook his head trying desperately to find an excuse, anything so he wouldn't have to admit the real reason for his fear. Not that it wasn't true, he was scared, who wouldn't be after all they had done to him, but it was much more than that. "It's too risky," he sputtered, his hand capturing hers, "we still don't know about the Hep. C and the AIDS tests."
Catherine sat back on her heels and studied him, he hated that she could see through him so easily when she did that. "There are many valid reasons for you to be scared, Gil, but haven't you heard of condoms?" She looked into his deep blue eyes and saw all the tension and anxiety that clouded them, "but there's something else going on here too, what is it?" He hung his head, unable to keep the eye contact with her. "What is it, honey, you can tell me?"
He stared at his hands not willing to see the _expression that was sure to come on her face. He explained, "I know it sounds corny but I've dreamt of being here with you like this for so long," he rushed on to continue, wanting to get it all out in the open now he had started, "but for it to happen like this, it's all wrong. I mean what if I can't..." he stopped unable to say the words.
Catherine smiled down at him and using her right hand tipped his head up to face her, "Gil, this is strictly for us," she assured him, "and if it just happens to discount the need for some for those tests you've been dreading, even better." She could tell she hadn't convinced him. "Hell, Gil," she snapped her eyes flashing, "it's you I fell in love with not your sexual prowess." She shook her head as if she was surprised he hadn't realised this by now. "If we can't fix it, well dammit all to hell, there are ways around it! Sex isn't everything you know."
He really wanted to believe her. Wanted to believe they could build a life, a relationship where sex didn't matter, but there was still that grain of doubt. Nevertheless he didn't struggle or resist when she lent down to kiss him. He felt her lips softly caress his and then the touch of her tongue as she licked his lower lip, seeking admission. Their tongues battled for dominance and Gil thrilled at the feeling it gave him. He felt warm, sensual emotions consume him and he revelled in them. He was startled when Catherine chuckled, he looked at her questioningly.
"I don't think we're going to have to worry about your not rising to the occasion," she smiled giving him a knowing look and suddenly he realised she was right, he chuckled and pulling her down towards him he captured her mouth with his own.
