Natural Progressions

Disclaimer: Mine no! CBS, Anthony Zuiker et al Yes! Pity :o( "Is There Life After Love?" belongs to Shania Twain.
Author's Note: Blame Billy, Marg and Shania for these little pieces. They keep Acting these out in my head! Have only seen up to LHB so don't Know how accurate I am on some things so please be kind!
Dedication: To Aby as always and you certainly know why girl! To VividlyBlue for Reading all my crap no matter how bad or sick! LOL


Chapter 17b: Is There Life After Love?

Gil Grissom sat on the sofa in the living room of his home. His head in his hands, shoulders slumped, eyes red rimmed and face tear stained. He couldn't believe how messed up his life had become in the space of a few short days.

"God, I'm a fool," he declared to the room at large. He knew he should have told Catherine about his one night with Lady Heather, but how did you go about casually dropping into a conversation that you'd spent a few hours with a Dominatrix learning to submit?

It wasn't a night he was particularly proud of. Not that he hadn't enjoyed it, he wouldn't lie to himself, it had been an experience he would never forget and he'd learned some things about himself.

No, what he was ashamed of was that he had used Lady Heather even though she had complied willingly, known she was a substitute. He may not be good at dealing with people, but he had studied them long enough to recognise hurt and disappointment and he'd seen both in the eyes of the dark haired beauty that night a year ago. Now that the incident had raised its ugly head again, he'd seen them in Catherine's eyes tonight. That one night had caused so much pain and suffering and, worst of all, had cost him his world.

Is there life after love?
Some things aren't certain
But some things I'm sure of
Like Angels in heaven
And God up above
But is there life after love?

He tried to control his emotions but his mind and his heart were in turmoil. Why hadn't he just explained everything when the first blackmail letter had arrived? It would have been so much simpler then, but he'd been afraid. Scared he'd lose his job, his friends, but most of all scared Catherine wouldn't believe him and he'd lose her and Lindsey.

"Good job, Gil," he congratulated himself derisively, "you certainly handled that well."

Tears trickled down his face and he did nothing to stop them, but his mind changed tracks unable to cope with the hurt he was causing his heart.

Who was trying to blackmail him? There were so many perps in the case it involved that sorting it out would be like searching for a needle in a haystack, at least without Lady Heather's help, and he wouldn't know how to begin to ask for that. Then, where had the tape come from? 'Stupid, Gil,' he mentally chastised himself. Obviously it came from Lady Heather, but why had she made it in the first place? Was she another Milander, playing him for a sucker? He couldn't believe he might be so wrong about her, but if anyone was going to interrogate her about it he wanted no part of it.

His cell phone rang and he checked the display, Jim Brass. For the first time in his career he ignored it. He didn't care if it was work related or personal, important or just a follow up question on a recent case. He was off duty, Conrad Ecklie and his team were on call, let them deal with it. All he cared about was Catherine and would she ever let him explain, take him back and let things be like they were before.

Here I am, there you are
We're so far apart
Let's pretend that I've never been
In her hands, in her heart
Can't we just start
All over again?

A knock came at the door, startling him, he thought if he ignored it who ever was there would take the hint and leave. He couldn't handle any sympathy or a pep talk from any of the well-meaning members of their team, their friends.

"Gil Grissom, I know you're in there," an angry voice echoed through the house.

He sighed, with a heavy heart and a tired step, Grissom walked to the front door and opened it.

"Good," came the reply from outside, "we need to talk..."