Emotions

Disclaimer: CSI does not belong to me if it did G/C would not be a will they won't they. They'd be together! I'm reliably informed that the song "Tracks of My Tears" belongs to Smokey Robinson. No copyright infringements intended this is just for fun.
Author's Note: Just a little idea that's been festering in my mind nothing brilliant but I had to put it down on paper so I could write other things :o)
Dedication: Aby as always you're a wonder for Betaing and Jac you make me blush with your compliments and really boost my ego thank you!


Chapter 1: Regrets

Gil Grissom stood outside the building leaning against his car, reluctant to go inside. He really didn't know what he was doing here. He didn't think he was a masochist but he was beginning to wonder. He did this to himself every time and for what? To be part of the team, to join in and appear like any other normal human being?

As usual they had chosen a restaurant with a dance floor and loud music. He didn't really enjoy either but the rest of the team did. It would be the same as usual; everyone would have brought a date except him. Not that he couldn't have if he'd wanted to, it was just that he felt awkward in those situations especially with the others around.

He was debating getting back into his car and leaving when a voice spoke up behind him, "Hey boss," Warrick smiled as he drew level with the older man, a beautiful young woman on his arm, "are you just going to stand admiring the scenery or are you coming to join us?" Grissom forced a smile on his face and motioned for Warrick and his date to precede him into the restaurant.

The others were already there, drinks in hand and chatting away. Grissom tried to hide his disappointment when he saw that Catherine had brought Jerry with her. 'This one must be serious,' he thought, 'she's being seeing him for what four months now.' He supposed he couldn't blame Catherine for going out with other men, he had never had the nerve to say anything about his feelings for her so he had no say in the matter.

The meal itself was a good one, plenty of vegetarian dishes on the menu so either Sara had picked it or they'd taken her preferences in to consideration when they'd booked it. A slow tune started to play and Catherine jumped up with glee, "I just love this song, come Jerry!" she exclaimed.

The others took to the dance floor as well, leaving Grissom alone at the table. All through the dance he couldn't take his eyes off of Catherine. The way she moved was suggestive and hypnotic, and he was glad the tables were set in subdued lighting so no one could see him, see the sadness on his face.

Suddenly the words of the song penetrated his mind.

"So take a good look at my face,
you'll see my smile looks out of place.
Look a little closer and it's easy to trace
the tracks of my tears."

How appropriate he thought. All the wasted opportunities washed through his memory and he felt tears prick his eyes. He couldn't handle this, he had to leave. He wouldn't let the others see him like this.

As soon as the dance was over Grissom made his excuses, Catherine said she would settle his part of the bill and they could sort it out tomorrow at work.

She was sad to see Grissom leave; she'd hoped he might enjoy himself this time. Obviously that wasn't to be the case. Why couldn't he lighten up and just go with the flow of the evening? God even Sara had managed to pry herself from her police scanner for one night, but then she figured Hank had something to do with that. It always annoyed her the way Grissom cut himself off, especially after the lecture he had given Sara about getting an interest outside of work. Roller coasters were one thing, but he needed more.

Well there was nothing she could do about it now. Maybe she could work on him later, catch him when he was more receptive to her efforts. She turned back to the company and decided to enjoy the rest of the evening. Grissom was a problem for another time.

Sitting in his car outside, Grissom felt worse than he had in a long time. If only he had even a glimmer that Catherine could possibly return his feelings, maybe he could have said something, but now it looked like he'd lost his chance. Starting the engine he drove away back to his lonely house.